Final Draft for Assignment 3

Expectations for Assignment 3:- Emailed to professor.

Pre-Draft for Assignment 3:- http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/2017/05/26/pre-draft-for-assignment-3-5/

Rough Draft for Assignment 3:- http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/2017/05/30/rough-draft-for-assignment-3/

Peer-Review:- Discussed Diego’s comic with him in class.

Artist statement

I decided to write an essay for this assignment because I thought it is the best way to express and explain my ideas in a complete and detailed format. My audience for this assignment is of course my professor and also an average American Citizen who is not well informed about Islam. Before they start reading my paper, they should know that I tried my best to cover all ideas that stood out to me from this comic series. I want them to learn two things from my project, first one is to get an idea of how this comic series paints a beautiful picture of what a Muslim household is like, and the second thing is how this comic series fights against the stereotypes of Muslim people living in the states. I think they would be able to learn these two things since I have already mentioned these things now, so it would be easy for them to point it out in the actual essay. The emotional impact that I am hoping to achieve from this project is religious tolerance racial harmony. It is not that only one or few sections of Ms.Marvel had inspired me to create my project in this type, it is the overall idea that made me write an analytical essay on this assignment, so I can have the freedom and space to express my thoughts completely. I am not so sure what I have learned about my writing process through doing this project, but I know that I picked up some ideas from Ms.Marvel and then explain it with my own observation of the society and then supported it with an example from the book itself. I think the one unique perspective that I brought in this project was the fact that I’m a muslim immigrant myself, although I wasn’t born in the states but still I can relate to this comic series on another level, and think of something related to Ms.Marvel that someone else might not. In terms of what I learned through this project, well this was my first experience with a comic book. It introduced me several things, the art of telling stories through pictures, and the fact that sketches are also part of literature. I would still like to learn how the story of “Kamala Khan” would turnout in the next part. I got so much help from the peer review on my rough draft and from my professor’s feedback. They helped me to narrow my focus and thoughts in one specific direction. If I had another week to work on my project, I would probably expand the three paragraphs containing my main ideas. The deep analysis that I did in this project to get the most of it and to make it relevant to today’s society, I can use that deep analysis technique in my future projects. I would like my audience to know one last thing, there maybe some points that you won’t agree with me. But I can say that I have a firsthand experience of these things so just bear with me. It would all make sense by the end.

IDENTITY

Migrating to other countries can be resulted in some hard choices for first generation of children. The struggle to blend in a new community, to own a new culture, to keep in touch and follow their own virtues and ideas can easily make them confused and frustrated. They often feel ashamed for being different and try to deny their stereotypes. For our third and final assignment, we read a comic series named ,”MS.MARVEL”. It is a story of a teenage girl who was born in New jersey, where her parents moved from Pakistan. In the beginning she seemed a bit confused and scared while she tried to adjust herself in the community and be like her friends. This comic series does a great job at portraying the actual version of Muslim people living in the states.

This comic series also does a fine job in highlighting stereotypes of Muslim people. For example, the idea in American’s mind that muslim women are required by their parents to wear headscarf and like it is a matter of death and life. There is a scene in this comic series where a white girl named Zoe asks Kamala, “But I mean… nobody pressured you to start wearing it, right? Your father or somebody? Nobody’s going to like, honor kill you? I’m just concerned.” Well this is pretty much the mindset of an average American. They believe that all religious practices are accompanied by someone else’s pressure. And ironically nowadays these same people are identifying Muslim women by their headscarves and harassing them.

Another idea that I think this comic series shed some light on or tried to defend it was the most famous and everlasting thought that “All muslims are terrorists”. (Period. No exception). So when Kamala becomes Ms.Marvel and gains super powers, she then jumps into the lake to save Zoe from drowning. But before doing that, she remembers something from Muslim religious book. Which is, “WHOEVER KILLS ONE PERSON, IT IS AS IF HE HAS KILLED ALL OF MANKIND– AND WHOEVER SAVES ONE PERSON, IT IS AS IF HE HAS SAVED ALL OF MANKIND.” This verse clearly tells us what are the actual Islamic views on violence and humanity. But people still find a way to ignore the authentic version of the religion and blame everyone who follows it because of an individual person’s acts.

These are the two ideas that stood out to me in this comic series. It can be really helpful for Muslims living in states if people read this series and get a new perspective on several issues. But the problem remains the same, because people who are Islamophobic and believe that is a religion of oppression, are not going to even touch this comic because it propagates the “Liberal Agenda.”

Rough Draft for Assignment 3

This comic series shows us the insights of Muslim immigrant households and their way of life. We all can clearly see that dividing wall between the beliefs of two completely separated communities. For instance, in the very beginning scene. The main character “Kamala Khan” is trying to smell “Bacon” but she can not eat it because that is against her religious belief. And when she goes to her friend’s party and accidentally drinks alcohol, she gets so terrified ans spits it out. These are just some examples of how Muslim people have to be careful and terrified while trying to adjust themselves in western culture. This comic series also does a fine job in highlighting stereotypes of Muslim people. For example, the idea in American’s mind that muslim women are required by their parents to wear headscarf and like it is a matter of death and life. There is a scene in this comic series where a white girl named Zoe asks Kamala, “But I mean… nobody pressured you to start wearing it, right? Your father or somebody? Nobody’s going to like, honor kill you? I’m just concerned.” Well this is pretty much the mindset of an average American. They believe that all religious practices are accompanied by someone else’s pressure. And ironically nowadays these same people are identifying Muslim women by their headscarves and harassing them. Another idea that I think this comic series shed some light on or tried to defend it was the most famous and everlasting thought that “All muslims are terrorists”. (Period. No exception). So when Kamala becomes Ms.Marvel and gains super powers, she then jumps into the lake to save Zoe from drowning. But before doing that, she remembers something from Muslim religious book. Which is, “WHOEVER KILLS ONE PERSON, IT IS AS IF HE HAS KILLED ALL OF MANKIND– AND WHOEVER SAVES ONE PERSON, IT IS AS IF HE HAS SAVED ALL OF MANKIND.” This verse clearly tells us what are the actual Islamic views on violence and humanity. But people still find a way to ignore the actual version of the religion and blame the whole following of that religion because of an individual person’s acts.

These are the two ideas that stood out to me in this comic series. It can be really helpful for Muslims living in states if people read this series and get a new perspective on several issues. But the problem remains the same, because people who are Islamophobic and believe that is a religion of oppression, are not going to even touch this book because it advocates the “Liberal Agenda.”

Questions for peer review

1) Is it clear from my introduction of what I’m going to talk about next?

2) I had a hard time in gathering my thoughts to write this essay, so is there anything that you would want me to add or expand or remove?

3) I tried to describe two separate ideas in this paper, and gave them equal amount of attention. How successful was I in that process?

4) What do you think of my use of quotes from the book? are they completely relevant of what I’m talking about?

5) I tried to make my conclusion a bit short, because I didn’t want to add new things in it. But if think that I need to expand it or add something, let me know.

Pre-Draft for Assignment 3

In monday’s class, we discussed the illustration of comics and we tried to draw them by ourselves. That experience made me think that the choices we make in selecting pictures and character’s faces are almost the 90% part of whole comic. Like to understand the text within comic, we need a whole scenario and characters’ faces to help us better understand the text. It also made me realized that I’m terrible at drawing anything so I have decided to write an analytical essay for assignment 3. An analytical essay would help me to discuss various aspects of this comic series and I would have enough room to fully express my thoughts.

Final Draft for Assignment 2

Links

Expectations for Assignment 2:- Emailed to the professor

Pre-Draft for Assignment 2

Rough Draft for Assignment 2

Artist’s Statement

I wrote this paper for obviously my professor, but also for the people who oppose the claim of police brutality in states. I focused on connecting the police training and racism and what is their combined result. I want them to learn the basic idea of the play “Intersections” and what were the reasons behind the death of Janelle, considering Janelle an unarmed African American on the streets of United Sates. I think my audience would definitely be able to get these things from my paper, since I have provided a thorough and detailed analysis on the matter. On the topic of police brutality, most people only consider the fact of “Racism” but I also included the aspect of police training and their combined result. While writing this paper, I learned that there should not be any contradiction in your paper. I mean if you are intentionally trying to do that to send a certain message than it’s fine but it should not be about your thesis. For the things that I would like to learn, is to hear the other side of the story. I mean what is police officers’ reasons to justify their use of deadly force. I did get a lot of help from my peer reviews and professor’s comment on my rough draft. She definitely guided me in correct direction. I think doing research about something can give you a whole new perspective of it. Like the one you never thought about before. If I had another week to work on this paper than I would definitely expand my paragraph on the racism factor behind Janelle’s’ death. The last thing I want to tell my audience is that I have put a great effort in writing this paper and tried to connect these two things, but I’m not a perfect writer so it can be kinda hard to fully understand the relation between them. So just bear with me and try to understand my perspective and you can always ask me what I meant by this or that.

Basic Equation of Police Brutality

The play written by students of LaGuardia Community college, “Intersections” is a very thoughtful and fascinating production. It gives us insights of financially unstable households, their mindset, their way of dealing with problems and how they behave in certain situations. There is a plain theme behind the play that says “Every action that you take today, lays the groundwork for your future choices”. You can also conclude the idea that your actions as a professional, have huge impact on other’s lives. just like by the end of the play, Alex who was a newly became police officer, shot an unarmed girl to death because he thought that a person of color is more likely to be a threat than a white person and the best way to deal with it is to simply shoot them to death.

It was not just the typical biased behavior of a police officer, Alex was scared for his life. As the event unfolded in the play, “ALEX: Hands up now, Hands up (hands go for gun) Janelle: (hands up shakily) My hands are up They are up ALEX: I need to see your ID. (She goes for her pockets) DO NOT REACH INTO YOUR POCKETS I–“.

The above conversation clearly shows how confused and scared Alex was. He instantly considered her a threat to him. The fact that he went after Janelle not Mike who was a white person, shows that he was not so different from his colleagues who think every African American person is a criminal and use their inner biases to prove their claim. Not a single day goes by when we don’t hear a news about a cop killing an unarmed African American person just because they resisted their “most of the times” unlawful arrest. The roots of racism towards African American people in American police departments are part of the same story that started in 1619 when the first slaves were brought to the North America. It is the same mindset that believes people of color are more likely to commit crimes than white people, and this gets worse when people on public service positions follow the same ideology, like police officers. They let their minds make a decision based on their personal prejudice which results in serious damage of the society. As research also shows the same effect, “Unarmed black individuals are estimated to be more than 22 times as likely to be shot by police than unarmed white individuals. Such patterns in police violence have been immune to public scrutiny until now” (Ross np).

The second aspect of the shooting on the play was the use of deadly force which was basically a result of the training Alex was given as a police officer. The basic theme of the training was the idea that everyone on the street is a potential danger to these policemen. Which is unfortunately also happen to be the general practice of police training in the United States. This idea plays a major role in avoidable deaths of innocent people by police officers. It is a clear understanding that when you think the person next to you is a threat. Then it does not matter whatever they try to do or however they try to behave, your mind finds a way to make them look like a violent criminal and an immediate threat. These are the same misunderstandings that are the reason behind almost all of the police killings which turned out to be caused by a mistake, the suspect was reaching for his wallet to show his id or he was just angry on officer’s behavior and showed some resistance. Either way, the cost of this action was his life because apparently there is a common phrase among cops that says, “Better to be judged by 12, than carried by six” (Stoughton np). I have taken this extract from an article written by Seth Stoughton, Seth has served as a police officer in a large municipal police department and now he is a scholar who researches policing, so he has a valid credibility. Seth also mentions that, “Officers are trained to shoot before a threat is fully realized” (Stoughton np). They are taught that the risks of mistake are less than the risks of hesitation which actually means that officers’ lives are more important than normal people. In addition, police officers in United States are more likely to take out their firearm and use it instead of going for other options, such as pepper spray and baton. This is considered to be the last option in these situations. According to an article written by Catherine Taibi, “In the United States this year alone, there have been more than 400 fatalities as a result of police gunshots. In Germany, there have been four” (Taibi np). Catherine quotes Christian Science Monitor writer Sara Miller Llana to explain the reason behind it. In Germany, police officers are trained in a very detailed and rigorous way. They are taught that even in very extreme situations, they should use other options to control the situation rather than directly going for firearm.

These are the main reasons behind the avoidable deaths of innocent people by police officers in the United States. It should be common understanding that our law enforcement personals need to be trained in a manner where they realize the responsibilities and restrictions of their job, also the importance of normal citizens’ lives. Police officers should take extra cautions for their safety but they should not forget their main purpose, which is the safety of normal citizens.

Work Cited

Ross, Cody T. “A Multi-Level Bayesian Analysis of Racial Bias in Police Shootings at the County-Level in the United States, 2011–2014”. Published on November 5, 2015.

Stoughton, Seth. “How police training contributes to avoidable deaths”. Publish in the The Atlantic on December 12, 2014.

Taibi, Catherine. “The fairly obvious reason police in other countries kill fewer people than American police do” Published in the Huffington Post on July 2nd, 2015.

Rough Draft for Assignment 2

The play written by students of LaGuardia Community college, “Intersections” is a very thoughtful and fascinating production. It gives us insights of financially unstable households, their mindset, their way of dealing with problems and how they behave in certain situations. There is a plain theme behind the play that says “Every action that you take today, lays the groundwork for your future choices”. You can also conclude the idea that your actions as a professional, have huge impact on other’s lives. just like by the end of the play, Alex who was a newly became police officer, shot an unarmed girl to death because he didn’t know what is the actual procedure to follow.

It was not just the ignorance of the procedure, Alex was scared for his life. As the event unfolded in the play, ALEX: Hands up now, Hands up (hands go for gun) Janelle: (hands up shakily) My hands are up They are up ALEX: I need to see your ID. (She goes for her pockets) DO NOT REACH INTO YOUR POCKETS I–. The above conversation clearly shows how confused and scared Alex was. He instantly considered those people a threat to him. I think that was basically a result of the training he was given as a police officer. The basic theme of the training was the idea that everyone on the street is a potential danger to these policemen. Which is unfortunately also happen to be the general practise of police training in the United States. This idea plays a major role in avoidable deaths of innocent people by police officers. It is a clear understanding that when you think the person next to you is a threat. Then it does not matter whatever they try to do or however they try to behave, your mind finds a way to make them look like a violent criminal and an immediate threat. These are the same misunderstandings that are the reason behind almost all of the police killings which turned out to be caused by a mistake, the suspect was reaching for his wallet to show his id or he was just angry on officer’s behavior and showed some resistance. Either way, the cost of this action was his life because apparently there is a common phrase among cops that says, “Better to be judged by 12, than carried by six” (Stoughton). I have taken this extract from an article written by Seth Stoughton, Seth has served as a police officer in a large municipal police department and now he is a scholar who researches policing, so he has a valid credibility. Seth also mentions that, “Officers are trained to shoot before a threat is fully realized” (Stoughton). They are taught that the risks of mistake are less than the risks of hesitation which actually means that officers’ lives are more important than normal people. In addition, police officers in United States are more likely to take out their firearm and use it instead of going for other options, such as pepper spray and baton. This is considered to be the last option in these situations. According to an article written by Catherine Taibi, “In the United States this year alone, there have been more than 400 fatalities as a result of police gunshots. In Germany, there have been four” (Taibi). Catherine quotes Christian Science Monitor writer Sara Miller Llana to explain the reason behind it. In Germany, police officers are trained in a very detailed and rigorous way. They are taught that even in very extreme situations, they should use other options to control the situation rather than directly going for firearm.

These are the main reasons behind the avoidable deaths of innocent people by police officers in the United States. I think that our law enforcement personals need to be trained in a way where they realize the responsibilities and restrictions of their job, and the importance of normal citizens’ lives. Police officers should take extra cautions for their safety but they should not forget their main purpose, which is the safety of common citizens.

Work Cited

Stoughton, Seth. “How police training contributes to avoidable deaths”. Publish in the The Atlantic on December 12, 2014.

Taibi, Catherine. “The fairly obvious reason police in other countries kill fewer people than American police do” Published in the Huffington Post on July 2nd, 2015.

Questions for peer review

1) Do you think that I was able to cover the main idea or theme of the play in the introduction?

2) What did you think of the conversation from play that I added in the beginning of second paragraph? Like does it make it clear what I’m trying to say.

3) Do you think that that I was able to successfully convey my argument to my audience?

4) I always find it kinda hard to write a complete and thorough conclusion. Do you want to add something in my conclusion?

5) Any other suggestion you want to make? clarify anything? or if something sounds kinda off. let me know.

Pre-Draft for Assignment 2

For our second assignment in Eng102, we are reading a play “Intersections” written by a group of students from our college. So far it seems like a very interesting and thoughtful piece of writing. I think the playwrights had to do research about the living styles of certain ethnic groups and the ways they communicate in and behave in certain situations. And I guess I can help myself in deeply analysing this play by researching on the same basis as the playwrights.

The most interesting thing about this play I have found is the way that different situations in different parts of the play merge together by the end. For me, the word “Research” means trying to explore something, and research should be guided by only authentic and verified sources. In my opinion, curiosity about something motivates us to research about it.

Final Draft for Assignment 1

Links:- Expectations Pre-draft Rough Draft

People whose work I’ve peer reviewed: Katherine Celis and Luis Romero → (by email)

Artist Statement

Who is your audience for this project? What do you want them to know before reading your piece?

My audience for this project is obviously my professor but also the people who believe that African American people are obliged to speak the perfect standard English. I want them to know that this is not the case.

What do you want them to learn from your piece?

I want my audience to learn the other side of the argument, to hear the claim of the opposite party because every picture has two sides.

Do you think they’ll be able to learn that? Why? Why not?

Hopefully, they will be able to do that because I’ve made some pretty strong points using actual events that have been occurred in the past.

What unique perspective did you bring to your analysis that someone else might not have?

In terms of bringing a unique perspective to my project, I think I was able to do that by trying to imagine that all of these horrific things are happening to me. Although it is not really possible but it gave me an idea of how African American really feel regarding racial injustice.

What did you learn through this project?

And speaking of what I learned from this project, I guess I have kinda learned how to build a whole project in small pieces. Because for this essay, first we gathered our expectations, then we talked about our main interests in the poem, and then we put down our thoughts in a raw shape. This mechanism really helped me making this project.

What would you still like to learn?

In future, I would like to learn the counterclaim of other African American people who also believe that we need to speak the standard English language as a nation.

What, if any, role did class discussions and your peers play in your project?

I have had a great help and continuous support from my classmates and my professor while doing this project, in terms of guiding me, correcting me and helping me to focus on main point.

How has your thinking changed about poetry (if it has) since working on this project?

About the change in my views towards poems, I would say that I have learned the importance of poems and how much effective they are. Before this, I used to think that poems are just about choosing the words that sound same and using a same pattern for the whole poem, but now I know how a poem can be so helpful and convincing when you try to send your point across the hall.

If you had another week to work on your project, what would you do with it? How would you change it?

If I had another week to work on my project, I would definitely discuss Steven’s rhetoric choices more. I guess I have already touched that in a very specific way. But he has selected every word in his poem with a hidden meaning behind it.

The last thing you want to tell your audience before they dive into your project is?

The last thing that I want to tell my audience is that I don’t always a grip on my conclusion, I often feel like that I am not able to summarize my complete thoughts in conclusion but I am working on it.

The Fight for Identity

In his spoken words “Ebonics 101”, Steven Willis has amazingly described the struggles of an African American person by combining it with his/her way of talking in a brilliant way. Steven has successfully managed to keep a theme throughout the whole poem that literally portraits a clear picture of how angry an African American person is because of a long history of racial injustice towards African American people, and how passionate he/she is about changing the stereotypical way an African American person is usually treated in our society.

It is safe to say that in this poem, Steven has reached a new level of creativity and the ability to combine several great thoughts in just one sentence. The whole focus of the poem is to defend the slang language which is spoken by African American people. Steven has made it real clear that “Ebonics” is not just some street language. As he defined it in his own words, “Ebonics is the official language of the undefined black culture”. To establish his claim, he literally created three grammar lessons of “Ebonics”. The most impressive thing I found was how he connected those three rules to all the oppression and racial injustice that an African American person has been facing for over a century now. Like when he explained the first rule which stated that “any English word that holds an (in) combination, the (i) becomes an (a)”. To elaborate this rule, he gave and example of Dr. Martin Luther king Jr. This clearly proves my above claim that Steven created a strong link between the way African American people speak and the racial injustice against them. Steven did the exact same thing with other two lessons and made sure that his audience understand the fact that African American people intentionally speak the way they speak. They want to have their own identity, culture and language, not the one their oppressor “The White Person” has.

Steven specifically gave the example of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and other incidents that involved African American people to create a direct relationship between the racial injustice and discrimination against African American people and the way they chose to speak. He talked about Dr.King’s march in civil right movement so his audience can get a visual idea of all the atrocities African Americans had to put up with. He talked about Emmett Till calling for help in the same language when he mercilessly got killed by inhumane Caucasian people, just because he had a different colored skin. He talked about Rodney King screaming, and telling those Caucasian police officers in the same language to stop beating him just because he had a different colored skin. He also talked about Trayvon Martin asking George Zimmerman in the same language, why he is following him just before that bloodthirsty George shot him, because he had a different colored skin. This list goes on and on but the point is why Caucasian people want African Americans to speak their language when they don’t even accept their existence in their society.

To sum up, the main goal of Steven is to tell the world that the way African American people speak, it’s not just some street words. It is not just some slang. It is not a broken English. This is Ebonics. There is a whole culture behind it. A culture that represents their heritage, their century long struggle for their freedom, for their identity, for their rights and the fact that they are different from “the man“.

My Expectations for Assignment 1

For our next assignment, I’m expecting to get the perfect grade. I’ll submit the draft and the final paper on time. In addition, I’m willing to analyze the spoken word deeply and think beyond the circle. I’m thinking of allocating 10 hours for this whole assignment, including the rough draft and the final paper. For the peer review, I’m going to read them and give my opinion on it on the base of my own work’s standards. In terms of getting help from the professor, I want her to explain clearly what are her expectations from our work. I’m thinking of writing an Analytical Essay on “Ebonics by Steven Willis”.

Video for my classmates to watch on Monday, March 27

Rough Draft for Assignment 1

In his spoken words “Ebonics 101”, Steven Willis has amazingly described the struggles of an African American person by combining it with his/her way of talking in a brilliant way. Steven has successfully managed to keep a them throughout the whole poem that literally portraits a clear picture of how angry an African American person is because of a long history of racial injustice towards African American people, and how passionate he/she is about changing the stereotypical way an African American person is usually treated in our society.

To sum up, the main goal of Steven is to tell the world that the way African American people speak, it’s not just some street words. There is a whole culture behind it. A culture that represents African American people, their identity, their thoughts, their rights and the fact that they are different then “the man”.

Questions

Do you think that I was able to provide a general summery of the poem in my introduction?
Do you see any broken thoughts in there?
Do you think that I was able to mention all the main points?
Is there anything that you would disagree?
I always have hard time coming up with a conclusion, how successful do you think I was in summarizing my essay in the conclusion?