Elena’s Monologue by Sheila Gilot

‘Practice’ he said. ‘Smile’ he said. ‘Be open.’ he said. I’ve done that. Would you agree that I’ve done that? ‘Look beautiful.’ she said. ‘Act properly.’ she said. ‘Take this seriously.’ she said. I’ve done that. Would you agree that I’ve done that? You know what I haven’t done? Sleep. You know what I haven’t done? Taken a break. Between my assignments, and helping you with French, and practicing my dance steps, and everything else I have to do– When is this going to get better? I thought you were just supposed to listen to your elders, do your best, and things were supposed to just get better. But they’re not. I keep messing up! The worst part is, I’m improving but I’m still not good enough. You know the consequence if we don’t– if I don’t succeed. I don’t want to be put out. Out on the street. No job, no money, no home. Even if I do get put out, I want to be able to at least say I did this, it was hard but I overcame the challenge. But I can’t even do that. I’ll have to live with myself for the rest of my life with the disappointment of not being good enough no matter how hard I tried. Honestly, if it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t still be here. You’re a… I’m grateful to you. That’s why I won’t bother you after tonight. Look, I’m not going to argue about this, okay? I know you just want to help but if we keep this up, it’ll stress you out. Then you won’t sleep, then you’ll fail, then you’ll get kicked out next time, then what?! You still have this chance to become so much, to do so much, don’t waste your time on me. I don’t want to be the reason why you fail. I need– I want– I’m asking you to leave me now before it’s too late. What are you doing? Don’t come any closer to me! If you won’t go after I’ve asked you as a friend, then I implore you as a lady to let me alone. For once, will you do the gentlemanly thing and grant my request? Please. I’ll close my eyes and count to three, and after I want you out of here. (Closes her eyes) One… two… three… What are you still doing here, Olivier?