Author: nawals

Artists Statement-

Ms.Marvel inspired me to use my creative juices for more than just an essay. So I decided to do an Alternate universe fanfiction.

My audience is my classmates. You should know my piece is an alternate universe piece, Kamala was actually born in Jersey City, but I wanted to explore the struggles of Kamala if she wasn’t born in America. I wanted to highlight the problems a child may have emigrating to another country.

I want my audience to gain the insight of what kind of challenges even children can face when they are in a new country. I want them to learn how hard it is for someone to come from another country. Perhaps my audience can learn to be accommodating to a person emigrating from another country and welcome them, instead if bullying them or trying to push them out. (Ahem our president)

My audience can conclude from the story, how hard it is for Kamala to adjust to her new school, her bullies, how isolated she feels and how she longs to go back. Many immigrants from other countries feel that way, they feel unwelcome here and want to go back. We as a people need teach out children and ourselves be welcoming to others from other countries.

I was going for high emotional impact here, many people will be able to empathize with Kamala here, as most people are bullied.

Panels of Kamala’s interactions with Zoe and her little angst session before she sneaks out to the party inspired me.

I learned that I can be quite descriptive with my writing if I put the time and effort.

What unique perspective did you bring to your close reading of Ms. Marvel that someone else might not have? What is the value of this perspective?

I added the persepective of a American Pakistani girl herself. I see so much of myself in Kamala. I have gone through the emotions and even similar experiences she has. I know what it feels like to be ashamed in your own skin, and how that can affect yours sense of self. I know what it feels like to be an American when people don’t consider you one. I feel the clash of cultures every day, and how hard it was to deal with that as a child, like Kamala does in my fanfiction.

I learned that personal experiences and adding emotions into your writing can enrich it.

I did not learn the the proper format for a story/fanfiction.

I want to learn how to create an original story.

What, if any, role did class discussions and your peers play in your project?

Class discussions helped narrow down what route I wanted to take my writing on.

I would add more details and make in longer.

What will you take with you from this project into future projects?

I will take my newly learned skill in story writing.

The last thing you want to tell your audience before they dive into your project is try and empathize with Kamala. Also, if you don’t understand any words, google it 😉

Hurt. 

Kamala sat down in a wooden tall mahogany chair and munched happily on her cake rusk dipped in chai. She can hear her father and Aamir devouring their aloo parathas while watching Geo News in the next room over. Her mother combed quickly through her thick, wavy and frizzy black hair.
Her mom asked “beta, are you ready for your first day of school in America?”

Kamala stuck her hands in the air and exclaimed “I’m excited! ”

“Good beta, I know my Kamala will win everyone’s hearts.”

Her mother then divides her hair into sections and tightly braids her hair. Her mother put her backpack on and, together they walk to her new school, Coles Elementary. At the entrance, Kamala’s mom crouches down to her level, adjusts her straps, plants a kiss on her forehead and gives Kamala a big hug
Kamala, giddy to enter the building, trying to free herself from her mother’s grip groans “Ammi, let go na. ”

Her mother sighs “ Acha beta, have good day, I will be right here when you come out.”

As soon as her mother utters those words, she skids off into the massive building. Once she enters the building, she is greeted, by a healthy woman wearing a tan skirt. The woman introduces herself, “Good morning dear, and your name must be Kamala. My name is Ms. Johnson; I will be your 3rd-grade teacher”.

Ms. Johnson leads Kamala into a large room filled with colorful pictures, projects, desks, and an Alphabet carpet! Sitting in the desks is her new class. There are many kids, but none of them actually look like her. Ms. Johnson introduces Kamala to her new class. “Class, this is your new classmate Kamala Khan, she just moved here, Kamala, how about you go sit next to Zoe.”

This girl, Zoe has long shiny blonde hair, Kamala had never seen a girl with a hair color like that! Kamala just knew she has to become best friends with this girl! Kamala then plops herself into her chair and takes out her brown covered notebooks and inserts them into the empty cavity of her desk. Zoe, looks at the books, scrunches her face and asks “ Eww, why are your notebooks brown? They are so ugly looking!”. Zoe and the other girls at her desks all starting saying “Ew’ to the notebooks her mother loving covered.

Kamala turns red in embarrassment. She has no idea as to why Zoe would even ask that, back at her school in Karachi, all the kids used to cover their notebooks in brown paper, it was a requirement. Kamala looks over at the other kid’s notebooks; they were all different colors, some even had shiny stickers. Kamala answers Zoe “I don’t know why my mom put them on.” Ms. Johnson calls everyone to the carpet for reading time and class starts.

At lunch time the teacher escorts the children to the cafeteria. Kamala is starving! She takes out her lunch box and gorges on the onion pakoras her mother packed for her. Pakodas are Kamala’s favorite! While Kamala is eating, Zoe and the girls from her desk group come over and stare at her lunchbox, Zoe says “Ew she is so weird, her lunch is so smelly.”

Another girl yells out ”It kind of looks like poop!!”. All the girls screech and run away. Kamala feels her cheeks burn, and tears well in her eyes. She is so embarrassed, why would they say her favorite food looks like poop? Kamala takes her pakoras and throws them in the garbage. Lunch ends, and she is then escorted back to class with the rest of the kids.

After school, Kamala gets picked up by her mother. On the way home she asks her mom “Ammi, can I get new notebooks? I don’t like the brown paper anymore”.

Her mother responds “ Why beta, they make your books look nice and neat.”

Kamala pleads, “Ammi please, I want the pretty notebooks the girls in my class have.”

Kamala’s mother, not wanting her daughter to feel left out says “Okay beta, if that’s what you want.”

School after that day is not so fun for Kamala. Zoe of her friends will not talk to her because they think she smells funny and eats poop. Back in Karachi, she loved to going to school and playing hopscotch with her friends. But now, school isn’t as fun.

On one warm day in late September Kamala’s class is allowed to go to recess, they are sharing the playground with some 4th graders. During recess, Zoe calls Kamala over to play with her and her friends. Kamala is confused but excited, maybe Zoe wanted to be friends with her now. Zoe tells Kamala and, “Okay, so everyone is going to go through the monkey bars, climb the ladder and go down the big slide, like an obstacle course, got it Kamala?”

Kamala excitedly replies “Yes!”

Zoe, responds “great! you go first”.

Kamala is a bit scared, she has never played on the monkey bars before, but she knows that if she wants to be Zoe’s friend, she has to do this. Kamala climbs the bright red metallic ladder and jumps, to grab onto the first monkey bar. As soon as she grabs onto the monkey bar, she cannot hold onto it anymore; she can’t move. Kamala shouts “Zoe, help me, I can’t hold on any longer!”

Zoe and her friends start laughing, seeing Kamala hanging in the air like that. Zoe says, “see; she’s such a freak, she can’t even play on the monkey bars!”.

Kamala can’t take it anymore, she can feel her hands feeling sweaty and her grip slipping. Kamala falls to the ground. The kids are laughing even harder. Kamala feels her face getting warms and tears well up, as they have so many times before. But this time, the tears fall, nonstop, this so embarrassing, she is crying in front of all her classmates. When Zoe sees Kamala cry, she and her friends run away to the other side of the playground, leaving Kamala all by herself. Kamala sits there crying, unable to move. Why do the kids treat her like this? All she wants to be is their friend. Why don’t they like her books, her smell or her food? All Kamala wants to be is their friend.

Kamala did not even realize when another child came up to her. A girl, who was the same color as her, but was a 4th grader, stood in front of her. She extends her right hand towards Kamala, Kamala grabs it and stands up. The mysterious girl asks Kamala “Hey, are you okay?”

Kamala wipes her nose with her shirt and replies “yeah, I’m okay” The mysterious girl introduces herself to Kamala, “ Hi, my name is Nakia, but you can call me Kiki.”

Kamala, replies to Kiki “Hi, I’m Kamala”.

Kiki asks Kamala, “Hey Kamala, do you want to go play with me?”

Kamala excitedly says “ yes that would be awesome!” Friends with a fourth grader, Zoe could never pick on her again!

Kiki then explains to Kamala “I saw those girls picking on you, you know you can tell your teacher, and she will help you.” Kamala never even thought of telling her teacher. After, recess, Kamala went straight up to Ms.Johnson and told her everything. The next day, Zoe apologizes to her, but Kamala still feels like Zoe does not like her.

Ever since that day, Kiki and Kamala play every day at recess.

Rough Draft: http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/2017/06/05/rough-draft-for-assignment-3-2/

PreDraft: http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/2017/05/24/pre-draft-for-assignment-3-4/

Expections: http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/2017/05/20/expectations-for-assignment-3-2/

I peer reviewed Kat and spoke with Yamell.

What if Kamala wasn’t born in Jersey City, what if her and her family moved from Karachi when she was 8 years old? A little tidbit about how Kamala met Nakia.

Kamala sat down in a wooden tall mahogany chair and munched happily on her cake rusk dipped in chai. She can hear her father and aamir devouring their aloo parathas while watching Geo News in the next room over. Her mother combed quickly through her thick, wavy and frizzy black hair.

Her mom asked “Beta, are you ready for your first day of school in America?”

Kamala stuck her hands in the air and exclaimed “Yes!!! I’m excited! ”

“Good beta jaan, I know my Kamala will win everyone’s hearts.”

Her mother then divided her hair into sections and tightly braided her hair. Her mother put her backpack on and, together they walked to her new school, Coles Elementary. At the entrance Kamala’s mother crouched down to her level, adjusted her straps and gave a Kamala a kiss on her forehead and a big hug.

Kamala, giddy to enter the building, trying to free herself from her mother’s grip groans “Ammi, let go na.”

Her mother sighs “ Acha beta, have good day, I will be right here when you come out.”

As soon as her mother utters those words, she skids off into the massive building. Once she enters the building she is greeted, by a healthy woman wearing a tan skirt. The woman introduces herself, “Good morning dear, your name must be Kamala. My name is Ms. Johnson, I will be your 3rd grade teacher.”

Ms. Johnson led her into a large room filled with colorful pictures, projects, desks, and an Alphabet carpet! Sitting in the desks, is her new class. There are many kids, but none of them really look like her. Ms. Johnson introduced Kamala to her new class. “Class, this is your new classmate Kamala Khan, she just moved here, Kamala, how about you go sit next to Zoe.”

This girl,  Zoe had long shiny blonde hair, Kamala had never seen a girl with a hair color like that! Kamala just knew she had to become best friends with this girl!

To be continued…..

 

Questions

1) what do you think of the piece overall?

2) What can I add to spice this piece up?

3)Does this make sense?

4) Should I cut down on the details?

5) Is ny grammar and punctuation okay?

I learned in class on Monday that images and words are connected to each and can very much so affect each other greatly. I also learned that images themselves can have a lot of impact and tell its own story.It did, I thought, why is it that I just write for another assignment, how about I draw.  I am thinking of ether drawing or writing a fan fiction. Well, if I draw, I will make a drawing showing Kamala’s internal struggle with her identity. The comic only slightly touches on it. If i do the fan fiction, I will a prequel of when Kamala first came into the country, because in the comic we see her family pretty well adjusted.I am pretty excited doing such an informal and cool format that is unlike anything I have ever done in a college English class. Ms. Marvel teaches me writing does not need to be complicated nor formal to reach someone and connect with them. Also, that comic books are cool. 🙂

I am aiming for an A.  According to the grading contract, I plan on completing each assignment on time – including all drafts and all peer reviews – on time and fulfilling each of the requirements for the assignment. I am going to try my best to dive in and earn my grade. I will put as much time as I need, usually 1-4 hours per each step of the assignment. I will also do my peer reviews on time and be as honest as possible with my peer reviews so my peer can benefit. I will probably need tons of feedback from you professor and you are always very helpful. I will probably do an analytical or personal essay. There are just so many elements I want to touch upon, Kamala’s treatment in her family because of her gender and how that effects her identity, or perhaps how Kamala being raised in two cultures effects her sense of identity. I want be in the ballpark of these ideas, you may have to help me narrow it down so I don’t overwhelm myself. 

Also, super happy that this is the last assignment of the semester!!! (except the in class one, but we’re not going to talk about that)

 

Anything for Family

A sense of obligation towards family can drive many youths of color today.  A strong sense of obligation relates to youth’s motivation to provide, take care of and assist their family; financially and physically. This type of attitude is prevalent among the youth of lower socioeconomic status and can even vary by gender. This kind of attitude was also portrayed heavily by Janelle a character in the play ‘Intersections,’ her sense of obligation may have had a hand in her decisions throughout the play. How can a strong sense of familial obligation, varying by income status and gender, affect a young person’s decisions and even their academic motivation?

In ‘Intersections’ Janelle and her small family, consisting of her younger sister Danielle and older cousin Travis face a tolling situation. Their guardian, their only real family, their grandmother, was dying because of cancer. They had two choices, to let their grandmother stay in the hospital or spend her last days with family at home. In the first scene, Janelle has a big argument with Travis to let their grandmother come home. She reasoned with him “She sacrificed her life for me. FOR US. When mom died, she took us in like it was nothing… Let her come home. I will do anything”. It was likely that their Grandmother took them in at a young age and supported them financially and physically.  Probably having seen her grandma struggle to raise them by herself at that age must have felt a substantial need to give back to her. Janelle says to her Professor in a later scene “…nothing can stop me from helping.” They do end bringing their grandmother home with an at home nurse to take care of her. Young people, like Janelle who come from lower socioeconomic status, usually have a strong want to help their family. A study was conducted Andrew J. Fuligni and Sara Pedersen at the University of California, Los Angeles on 745 diverse young people from various backgrounds over the span of 3 years. Their research shows that “During young adulthood, poorer young adults placed more importance on family respect and future support than did the young adults from wealthier backgrounds.” (Fuligni and Pedersen 860) Growing up  Janelle and her sister were taken in by their grandma, they were most likely not well off or even poor. When you are poor and struggling to get by, family can be your only anchor, the only thing you have left tying you down when everything else is bleak, that is what their grandma was to Janelle. That is why Janelle wanted to support and help her grandma and was ready to fight anything or anyone to take care of her.

It is interesting to note that Janelle reaction to news of her grandmother was very different than her cousin Travis. Travis is adamant on Janelle to keep going to school and complete her education and more level headed than Janelle. It could be possible that Janelle’s gender may have been an influencing factor in her stance of bringing grandma home. According to the study mentioned previously “Gender can also shape family obligations, with traditional gender roles often urging girls, more so than boys, to provide more assistance to the family.” (Fuligni and Pedersen 857) Their results indicated that the young women reported a stronger belief in assisting the family in the present and future, compared to the young men.  In her argument with Travis, Janelle indicated that she had previously cared for Grandmother when he left, and she was ready to do it again, implying nothing else was more important than family for her. Travis on the other hand, was being very stern and emotionally detached. This was probably because being a man in the family, he was raised to be ‘masculine’ and ‘be a man’ and not be attached and to be strong.  

Janelle also seems to have lost her motivation to excel in school. In her conversation with her professor in a later scene, it is suggested that Janelle hasn’t attended class in a long time. In her fight with Travis, she blatantly states “OUR FAMILY is first…Education I can get any time.” In lower-income youth with a sense of familial obligation, they start off motivated to attend college, to get a degree and provide for the family. But that motivation doesn’t last forever. According to a study conducted evaluating college persistence, their results suggest that youths “who anticipate helping more in the future while in high school may find that motivation and value of education may not be enough during the college years, given the actual helping behaviors that go along with family obligations during this period” (Witkow et al. 14). This is exactly what happens with Janelle; she cannot deal with her situation at home and the added responsibility on her shoulders, so she starts slacking off in college. After all, her motivation for getting an education was providing for her family, and now that her family needed her, she put education on the backburner.

In Janelle’s story, a turning point that indicates her mental downfall is her slacking off in school. After bringing grandma home and sacrificing her schooling, Janelle still feels she is not doing the best for her. Janelle cannot seem to take that there is nothing she can do to make her grandmother feel better. In her conversation with Danielle, she says this, “Our grandmother is dying! And you, I or that bullshit of a nurse can’t do anything about it. I will do whatever the fuck I’ve got to do to keep her with us. I can’t hang around this apartment knowing I can do something to ease her pain”. It’s evident from this dialogue that Janelle knows there’s not much she can do to fix this situation, yet at the end, she claims to get something to ease her pain. Danielle later implies that Janelle may be going to get a drug that their grandmother believed would magically cure her cancer. Janelle knew that deep down this drug would not heal her grandma, but she could not just stand the thought of grandma dying, and her, being able to do anything about it. Janelle’s mental state is in shambles at this point.  An article published in University of Connecticut discussing lower income young women suggests that “In particular, adolescents who feel strong family obligations and experience many negative life events may have depleted psychological and coping resources, and thus develop more symptoms of emotional distress” (Stephanie and Wortel 1192). Evidently, Janelle feeling strong obligations towards her family may very have well added to her weak mental and emotional  state. Janelle then makes a last-ditch effort by going to buy her grandmother drugs that she deluded herself into believing would cure her grandma. Janelle ends up being fatally shot by a police officer at the location of the transaction.

Research confirms that a strong sense of familial obligation common among young women of lower socioeconomic status can affect their decisions and their academic motivation. This is what happened with Janelle, a major character in this play. Janelle’s sense of duty played a role in her decisions to her to bring her grandmother home, slack off at school and even turn to illegal methods to provide what she thought was needed for her grandma. Yet, there is no way to truly know what was running through Janelle’s mind through all this.

Fuligni, Andrew J. and Sara Pedersen. “Family Obligation and the Trasition to Young Adulthood.” Developmental Psychology, vol. 38, no. 5, Sept. 2002, p. 856. EBSCOhost, mail.lagcc.cuny.edu/viplogin/default.aspx?redirect=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=7396521&site=ehost-live.

Milan, Stephanie and Sanne Wortel. “Family Obligation Values as a Protective and Vulnerability Factor among Low-Income Adolescent Girls.” Journal of Youth & Adolescence, vol. 44, no. 6, June 2015, pp. 1183-1193. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1007/s10964-014-0206-8.

Witkow, Melissa R., et al. “Understanding Differences in College Persistence: A Longitudinal Examination of Financial Circumstances, Family Obligations, and Discrimination in an Ethnically Diverse Sample.” Applied Developmental Science, vol. 19, no. 1, Jan-Mar2015, pp. 4-18. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/10888691.2014.946030.

Artist Statement

My audience is my classmates and professor, although I wanted to make it so everyone can be able to read and understand what I am trying to say. I want them to learn about something that influences many young people, and can affect their whole lives. This subject is relatively new since most American people are not like this. But a strong sense of familial obligation is very common among low income colored young people. I think they will, I provided many articles and quotes to help them along. Also, I explained everything to my best ability. My perspective on Intersections is unique, because I am not writing about something most people take lightly. But having experienced this myself a lot, I know how much a sense of familial obligation can influence your life choices, as it did with Janelle. That having a strong sense of family obligation is a real issue that people face, not just me. I was appalled at the amount of research I could find on a subject I thought was barren. I did not learn much about race as I wanted to in my research. I mostly stuck to gender, and socioeconomic status. I still want to learn more about racism and discrimination. My peers added a new perspective and helped me add what I needed to this essay. Class discussion helped me dig deeper, something I still struggle with. I would definitely add more analyses about Janelle’s other cousin Danielle. Danielle was in the same situations as Janelle, a lot of the things in this paper apply to her too, yet she reacted to the situation much differently, why is that?? The last thing I want to tell my audience before they dive into my paper is try and understand what I am trying to say. Keep an open mind, and  I am sure you will look at Janelle’s story in a new light.

Expectations for Assignment #2: http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/2017/04/05/expectations-for-assignment-2/

Pre-Draft Assignment #2: http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/2017/04/13/pre-draft-assignment-2/

Assignment 2 Draft 1: http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/category/assignments/page/2/

Peer Review #1: http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/2017/05/01/assignment-draft-2/

Peer Review #2: http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/2017/04/26/draft-for-assignment-2/

The Need to Give Back

The sense of obligation towards family drives many youths of color today.  A strong sense of obligation relates to youth’s motivation to provide, take care of and assist their family; financially and physically. This type of attitude is prevalent among the youth of lower socioeconomic status and can even vary by gender. This kind of attitude was also portrayed heavily by Janelle in the play ‘Intersections,’ her sense of obligation may have had a hand in her decisions throughout the play. How can a strong sense of familial obligation, varying by income status and gender, affect a young person’s decisions and even their academic motivation?

In ‘Intersections’ Janelle and her small family, consisting of her younger sister Danielle and older cousin Travis face a tolling situation. Their guardian, their only real family, their grandmother, was dying because of cancer. They had two choices, to let their grandmother stay in the hospital or spend her last days with family at home. In the first scene, Janelle has a big argument with Travis to let their grandmother come home. She reasoned with him “She sacrificed her life for me. FOR US. When mom died, she took us in like it was nothing… Let her come home. I will do anything”. It was likely that their Grandmother took them in at a young age and supported them financially and physically. Janelle probably having seen her grandma struggle must have felt a substantial need to give back to her. Janelle says to her Professor in a later scene “…nothing can stop me from helping.” They do end bringing their grandmother home with an at home nurse to take care of her. Young people, like Janelle who come from lower socioeconomic status, usually have a strong want to help their family.   A study was conducted Andrew J. Fuligni and Sara Pedersen at the University of California, Los Angeles on 745 diverse young people from various backgrounds over the span of 3 years. Their research shows that “During young adulthood, poorer young adults placed more importance on family respect and future support than did the young adults from wealthier backgrounds.” (Fuligni and Pedersen 860) Janelle had a lot of respect and love for her grandmother and was ready to fight anything or anyone to take care of her.

It is interesting to note that Janelle reaction to news of her grandmother was very different than her cousin Travis. Travis is adamant on Janelle to keep going to school and complete her education and more level headed than Janelle. It could be possible that Janelle’s gender may have been an influencing factor in her stance of bringing grandma home. According to the study mentioned previously “Gender can also shape family obligations, with traditional gender roles often urging girls, more so than boys, to provide more assistance to the family.” (Fuligni and Pedersen 857) Their results indicated that the young women reported a stronger belief in assisting the family in the present and future, compared to the young men. In her argument with Travis, Janelle indicated that she had previously cared for Grandmother when he left, and she was ready to do it again, implying nothing else was more important than family for her.

In Janelle’s story, a turning point that indicates her mental downfall is her slacking off in school. In her conversation with her professor in a later scene, it is suggested that Janelle hasn’t attended class in a long time. It seems Janelle has lost her motivation to excel in school. Not only that but in her fight with Travis, she blatantly states “OUR FAMILY is first…Education I can get any time.” In lower-income youth with a sense of familial obligation, they start off motivated to attend college, to get a degree and provide for the family. Per a study conducted evacuating college persistence their “results suggest that those who anticipate helping more in the future while in high school may find that motivation and value of education may not be enough during the college years, given the actual helping behaviors that go along with family obligations during this period’.(Witkow et al. 14) This is exactly what happens with Janelle; she cannot deal with her situation at home and the added responsibility on her shoulders, so she starts slacking off in college. After all, her motivation for getting an education was providing for her family, and now that her family needed her, she put education on the backburner. After bringing grandma home and sacrificing her schooling, Janelle still feels she is not doing the best for her. Janelle cannot seem to take that there is nothing she can do to make her grandmother feel better. In her conversation with Danielle, she says this, “Our grandmother is dying! And you, I or that bullshit of a nurse can’t do anything about it. I will do whatever the fuck I’ve got to do to keep her with us. I can’t hand around this apartment knowing I can do something to ease her pain”. It’s evident from this dialogue that Janelle knows there’s not much she can do to fix this situation, yet at the end, she claims to get something to ease her pain. Danielle later implies that Janelle may be going to get a drug that their grandmother believed would magically cure her cancer. Janelle knew that deep down this drug would not heal her grandma, but she could not just stand the thought of grandma dying, and not her, being able to do anything about it. Janelle’s mental state is in shambles, her feeling strong obligations towards her family may have added to her low psychological resources when she was exposed to a negative situation like this.  (Stephanie and Wortel 1192) At this point, Janelle makes a last-ditch effort by going to buy her grandmother drugs that she deluded herself into believing would cure her grandma. Janelle ends up being fatally shot by a police officer at the location of the transaction.

A strong sense of familial obligation common among young women of lower socioeconomic status can affect their decisions and their academic motivation, as it did with Janelle. Janelle’s sense of duty played a role in her decisions to her to bring her grandmother home, slack off at school and even turn to illegal methods to provide what she thought was needed for her grandma. Yet, there is no way to truly know what was running through Janelle’s mind through all this.

 

Questions:

1. Does this make sense?
2. Does my research connect well the message of my paper?
3. Is my intention with this paper clear?
4. Is my intro clear enough?
5. Is my conclusion clear enough?

The playwrights may have had to do some research of the issues facing youth in modern America. Some issues include, familial responsibility, self-actualization, addiction and police brutality.

Some research about addictions would be helpful. Finding information about what causes it, and why it’s so hard for people to break out of it would be helpful. I never experienced addiction and it confuses me, so I want to find out more about it.

Scholarly articles ones in the field of psychology could be helpful, statistics can be useful too.

The conflicts shown in this play stun me. They are all emotionally hard hitting. The story of Alex and the story of Mike, interest me the most. Janelle’s story arch, makes me emotional.

Using different forms of research will help me create deeper and more informed analysis, as opposed to just using information from the top of my head. The analysis will become stronger this way.

Research means finding more information, finding more perspective to a certain topic.

Research should be guided and motivated by, the will, the need to find out more. If you aren’t interested in what you are researching, what’s the point of finding more information about this topic at all? Curiosity is what has always driven man to learn and do more. You have got to have that question inside your head to conduct proper research.

I am aiming for an A. According to the grading contract, I plan on completing each assignment on time – including all drafts and all peer reviews – on time and fulfilling each of the requirements for the assignment. I plan on putting in 1-2 hours max for each draft and 2-3 hours on the final assignment. I will effort into my peer reviews. I will try to provide as much constructive criticism as possible. I expect you to be as honest as possible with me when it comes to the criticism of my assignments. I struggle with digging deeper, so please assist me so I can sharpen this skill. I will probably write my assignment in essay form.

Intersections seems to be showing emotional yet realistic situations faced by many youth in America. Reminds of something my co-worker, a theater/music teacher and an experienced performer once said while teaching a class. “Art is just a heightened version of our current world”. This play is shown as a mirror to our current society.

The first scene and second scene both speak to me a lot, because I have had experienced situations like these before. I would like to speak about perhaps a more broad perspective rather than personal, maybe how a certain viewpoint presented in this play, is shown throughout society. 

 

Expectations and Questions for Assignment one emailed.

Rought Draft: http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/2017/03/19/rough-draft-for-assignment-1/

Artist Statement Prompt

My audience are my fellow classmates and professor. But I don’t want my essay to just be for those academically adept. I want my teenage brother or mom to be able to read this and understand what I am trying to say.

I want to them to learn the story being told by the man in the #DearMum video, about how his mother sacrificed and  loved him and how be he felt about his actions towards her. Some people watch this video and can completely miss the message, I want them to really comprehend what the speaker is saying. Alot of people can relate to this as they themselves have relationships with their mothers like this. Perhaps this essay can even motivate some people to watch the full video, and it may even get some people to give their own mother a call and tell her how much they love them .

I think they will be able to learn the the underlying sorrowful story told in the spoken word poem. That is why I tried keeping the fluff minimal and keeping to the point and adding supporting evidences to back up my main points. They will also learn to appreciate their own mother. They can also learn that sometimes, we may all share similar experiences.

I delved more into what story the speaker was trying to tell rather than just what he was actually saying. I elaborated of the facial expression and voice tone the speaker used to take the poem further. This perspective will make this spoken word poem much more impactful once people read my take on it. I also added some  personal experiences about me and my mother, we are very close.

I learned the value of analyzing the full atmosphere and meaning of an art before drawing conclusions about it. I also learned that when watching a person perform, look at the background, hear the voice, the face of the performer, absorb the performance with all the senses before analyzing it.

I did not learn any deeper more philosophical meaning through this poem, it had a very specific topic.

I would like to learn how to analyze a piece of art even deeper. I want to learn how to utilize my critical thinking and analytical skills to think outside the box. I want to be able learn to take one sentence in a text and be able to write a whole paper on it. I also want to learn how to write my own poetry one day. I want to challenge myself as much as possible, is a good way.

 

My peers definitely helped me especially in class discussions and peer reviews. They helped me get the thinking juices flowing and helped me think more deeply about the poem.   

I like poetry and I think it expresses people’s emotions in a beautiful way. I used to think poetry about love  is for those romantically in love, I never thought you could make a poem about your mom.

If I had another week to work on this project, I would definitely try and add more personal experiences, as my mom is my best friend. I would also try to elaborate on how this poem may even be a prayer.

The last thing I want to tell my audience before you dive into my project is keep your mind open and think of your mom while reading this poem. I tried my best in the time I had. I truly hope you try and think deeper from now on when you read poems. I truly hope you enjoy 🙂

The Toll of a Mother

Many people love their mother and will express their love to her anytime and in any way, possible. As the case with the spoken word poem, #Dear Mum posted on the YouTube channel Talk Islam. It is a beautiful poem told by a man to his mother describing how much she means to him. The meaning of the poem is amplified with lovely music playing in the background, and visual edits are added to enhance the emphasis on the lines being spoken. All in all, this video is bound to bring tears to your eyes.  However, this poem is not just a man talking to his mother, rather it is a story, being told to us, the audience, with underlying themes such as unconditional love, sacrifice, and guilt.

One of the most evident themes in the poem is unconditional love from the mother towards her son.  In the poem, it is explained that the mother was in pain for nine months but dealt with it until he was born and showered him with love ever since. The speaker puts it, like love at first sight. When he was a young boy, she was at his beck and call, even when he couldn’t sleep, she was there to put him to sleep. Even when her son was grown and capable of going out at night by himself, she still cared for his well-being.  Her son wouldn’t care if he called her or not when he was out, yet she would send him messages asking for him to confirm he was safe. Her son disappointed her, but she still cared for his safety and would not be able to sleep until she knew he was safe. Not only that but, she would care for him when he was sick and when he needed her.  She would be there for him. The speaker related, “you did it all for me and not ever once asked for a reward.” The mother did express unconditional love towards her son.

Another theme that is clear in this spoken word poem is sacrifice, on the mother’s part for her son.  The mother readily her sacrificed herself physically for her son. She would give up her slippers to keep her son’s toes warm. The mother would wake up early to hang her family’s clothes. She would even sacrifice her sleep if she did not know her son was safe. One of the biggest sacrifices is said here “when you became my mother made the trip to move away from yours, I know how much you love her and miss her, and I know that cuts too deep like a sword.” It was an enormous toll paid on her part for the sake of her children. The mother had put her relationship with her own mother on the back-burner to properly care for her children; this was a large toll paid on her part for the sake of her children. I can relate to this too, becuase when I was young, my mother lost her own mother in an accident, and although it hurt her deeply, I never once saw her cry in front of me or my siblings. My mother is the strongest person I know.  Some Mothers, like the one mentioned in the poem are ready to sacrifice their time, health, sleep and personal relationships for their children.

It is also  evident throughout the poem that the son feels immense guilt and shame regarding the actions he had shown towards his mother in the past. The speaker apologizes constantly throughout the poem for his actions. He apologizes “I’m sorry for the pain that is caused by the nights you didn’t sleep and for all those missed calls for the fights we had” He says sorry for the times he complained when she asked for help with the chores. He feels immense shame even over the little things as he even apologizes for his messy room and scattered clothes that should have been in his drawers. Most of all the speaker apologizes for what he couldn’t be for his mother; he apologizes for the promises he didn’t fulfill, the cars he didn’t get her, the countries he didn’t send her to. The speaker’s voice gets soft, almost as if he’s choked up while expressing his regret. It is almost as if he wants to turn back time to do all these things for his mother. We find out at the end of the poem that the speaker’s mother is deceased; this must add even more shame on the speaker. Also, towards the end he says he will pray that Allah has mercy on his mother, so he can see her in paradise too, and at the very end he says “amen”. This leads me to believe that this poem perhaps was even a prayer for his mother and a plea towards Allah to forgive him. One can tell the speaker expresses shame and guilt towards himself for treating his mother the way he did.

As shown in this spoken word poem, the poem is not just a man speaking to his mother, rather it is a story, being told to us, the audience, with underlying themes such as unconditional love, sacrifice, and guilt. There are various lines spoken and expressed throughout the video that  accurately portray the unconditional love and sacrifice shown by the mother towards the son, and the immense guilt and shame shown by the son in response to his actions. It may even have been a prayer for his mother. We can relate to the speaker regardless if we have lost a parent or not, as we have all at one point lost someone in our life and wished we could have done something different. The story that was told to us is something all people from different walks of life can relate to.