Rough draft of Poem for a lady whose voice I like
Let’s call the “she”, Elena and let’s call the he “Zacharia”.
“You ain’t got no talent
if you didn’t have a face
you wouldn’t be nobody”
His words kept replaying in my head. God, I hated his voice. Every time I hear it. But nope. I won’t let him get to me. He doesn’t know any better, he rather spends his days eating and belting at how I am merely an object rather than a person than to say something nice.
I had come home from work tired from a 13-hour shift. I place my jacket in the closet to my right and leave my keys on the counter. Seinfield was on and Zach was opening a beer, and some drips to the floor but he pays no attention. Zacharia and I had been together for 20 years now and I can’t remember the last time I saw a smile on his face. It was probably when we had first moved into the apartment we live in now but since then, his smile was gone. He’d been working at the laundromat down the block until it closed and got replaced by the burger shack he is now a daily customer from. There was no money coming in, and the bills piled up. I had lost track of the last time he left his house besides to grab a smoke and a burger with his boys.
He was on the couch when I had come home mumbling about how Lenny, our next door neighbor had wanted some dancing girls for his show at the bar that following Saturday.
“Lenny came by. He wants you on his show. I said you’d do it for 80 per show. Understand?”.
“Excuse me?”
“What do you mean you said I’d do it? “Understand?”
“Zacharia, I will not let myself be the very thing I am against. I won’t be dancing for anyone no matter how badly we need the money. Now, do you understand me?
I am not just some ‘body’ you can control. I will not be one of those girls”.
He lets his beer down and gets up. God, he smelled like sweat. He looked like he hadn’t showered in days and began to start yelling. “What do you mean you won’t do it? You ungrateful prick. I got you a job. One show can finally pay off that damn cell phone bill of yours. I told Lenny you’d do it, and you will. Now go set dinner and go talk to Lenny and get more details. I don’t want to hear it anymore”.
Before I could speak, he had left the room. He walks into the bathroom and as the door closes I hear;
“You ain’t got no talent
if you didn’t have a face
you wouldn’t be nobody”
What three things do you want to ask your peers about your work?
Do you guys like the plot? Is there anything you think I can do to help with my writing, I usually have a problem with sounding way too general and my vocabulary is weak. What do you think of the characters so far?
What three things are your favorite about your fan fic?
I’m not going to lie, maybe this is me since I am the one writing this it was easy to picture the setting and plot for this as soon as I read the poem. I love my character elena & i also love how i will soon be showing elena’s growth with self-confidence and empowerment.
What three things are you unsure of? I am unsure of how to transition within my writing. I also fear I won’t find good placements to use some of the poem’s dialogue. I also don’t exactly know how to continue this without rambling so much about one thing, so i need to work on that.