My Educational Narrative…
As a student, I knew I was different from the rest. While my classmates were “smarter”, than I was (so I thought) I was far behind. Whatever happened to the “No Kids Left Behind Policy?” I felt like I was the only one who didn’t know what the teachers were talking about whether it was in English, science, or math class. Multiple questions were thrown at the teacher and for this reason, it seemed like the kids were getting frustrated because they just wanted the teacher to lecture as the time passed by. Comprehension skills were always the last thing for me to take into full consideration, sometimes teachers would have to read the question aloud for me to fully understand what it is that they are asking for. Although I faced many challenges in school one way or another I slowly improved. I learned new techniques that would benefit me as a student.
Around middle school going into high school, I was diagnosed with ADD and other Mental Disabilities. I remember the psychiatrist asking my mother why would she wait so long for me to get the help that I needed. It wasn’t until I realized that it was fear my mother was dealing with. Fear of not being able to live my life like a “regular, normal” kid. Fear of knowing that I would be enrolled with the special Ed students, knowing that I had to have either an IEP or 504. We knew with the IEP It’ll be harder to get out since I would’ve been with the Special Ed students and with the 504 I would be able to get extra time with any exams that had to be taken. As well as being separated from the class, and having a teacher read aloud the questions for me. Either way, my mother and I faced the reality of it and went with the 504 so that way I can be accommodated as needed.
During my time in middle/ high school, many challenges confronted me. In mathematics class, I would fail every exam. I would cry because I felt ashamed, I was frustrated and upset that I wasn’t able to pass those exams with the rest of my classmates. I looked at these math problems like they were in a different language. Things started to change when a boy classmate started to bully me and call me out of my name such as “stupid” “loser” “dummy” just because I was far behind in class. That all ended once I decided to choke him until he was unconscious and I succeeded in that which resulted in a suspension. The year of 2012, I was then transferred to an alternative school. However, that didn’t stop the challenges that confronted me. In mathematics and science class I failed about two more exams. I still didn’t understand why I wasn’t like the rest of my classmates. Smart. I found myself going into deep depression and was escorted out of the classroom by EMT, policemen, the principal and the guidance counselor from the school. I was rushed to the hospital for suicide. I was experiencing so many emotions, I was easily distracted, I didn’t understand my homework assignments and I was failing my exams so it was easy to say “you know what, I’ll just be a high school dropout”.
Furthermore, while I was going through so many challenges, I came to my senses and decided that this can either break or make me. I didn’t want to end up like my mother or brother who was both high school dropouts, I wanted to be better than them and my classmates. My response to this was to take responsibilities for my own actions, this was my life and I make the rules. I’m currently in college and have 1 year left before graduation which is a major breakthrough. I knew with determination, courage, willingness to take action I can achieve anything that I want to do. “So what if you’re far behind than the rest of your classmates, so what if you consistently ask your peers questions, and so what if you have a mental/learning disability these things don’t define you as a person….” These were words that I had to constantly remind myself daily.
Hopefully, this story encourages you all to do your ultimate best as a student. Education is so important especially if you have goals, dreams, desires. You have to push yourself even when you feel like you are at your lowest. School is very overwhelming and can sometimes be depressing, however, we must continue to use all of the resources that are available for us. Take time to study, ask questions if you don’t know. The teachers will appreciate you by asking questions, and you’re probably thinking “what about my classmates?” To answer that look at that as motivation to work harder. Do your very best in school and don’t give up. Every day is a battle but the battle is with yourself and just know you and I are already ahead of the game.