Author: johnsim94

The sharp winds slapped her face as they whirled all around her. It was cold even for Jersey standards. The buildings looked grim and grey, making her current situation seem impossibly hopeless. Bruno had disappeared and Kamala spent every waking moment of the last few days searching for him. The usual hideout, the junk yard, she searched everywhere she could think of, and the frustration built as every single lead went nowhere. Kamal sighed and fell down on the floor feeling hopeless. Her red and blue suit didn’t make her feel as powerful as usual. As she racked her brains for where he could be, she began to feel disheartened and the world around her grew larger.

“Where could he be? There’s gotta be a clue somewhere,” Kamala said under her breathe.

“If he’s in danger I have to find him fast, think Kamala think!”

Just then, a thought ignited her brain and she immediately remembered what might be a key clue to finding Bruno. Two months ago she was stopping a bank robbery she remembered a certain man who was different than the other robbers. It didn’t seem as if he was getting captured, but more allowing her to take him in. His face was covered in a black mask and he wore a dark green trench coach. Kamala remembered gripping him tightly with her right hand and he spoke to her.

“You remind me of someone I know, You seem so interesting. So pure, like an empty canvas,” his voice was like gravel on the sidewalk. It sent a chill down her spine and a tingly sensation raced around her body. He was captured but Kamal felt like she wasn’t in control. Something felt different with this criminal.

“I assume your new to this crime fighting thing. I’m guessing you think you have it all figured out?” the mysterious stranger asked.

“It’s none of your business,” Kamal replied. Her voice quivered as she answered.

“Oh but it is. I’ve been so…  bored. All these heros are so uninteresting. They have no limits. They dont wrestle with themselves. Who are they to decide what they should and should not do?” the man talked in a confusing way, but strangely it drew Kamal’s attention.

He continued his monologue. “But you, you’re different. You fight with yourself every day. You believe you’re in control, but you’re not. When faced with an impossible decision, I wonder how you’ll react. It makes me feel alive thinking about it.”

“Yeah you can think about it jail,” Kamal said with a grin.

“Thats not going to happen,” The man replied.

“Oh yeah? well y..” Kamala was interrupted by an explosion.

The ceiling crumbled and fell on her making her lose the grip on the man. As he walked away she could hear him speak.

“You’ll be hearing from me soon, my pet project. You can call me the Butcher,” He walked away laughing.

“It cant be.. right?” Kamal whispered.

Kamala returned home, in a daze, thinking about if the Butcher was really behind this. What could she do? Should she call the police? As she walked into her room, she noticed something was off. She felt a certain chill in the room. The curtains on her windows danced with the wind.

“Thats odd, I dont remember leaving my windows open.”

Just then she noticed a note on her desk. She lunged for it and scanned it rapidly. In the note was a short message. “Come to the abandoned warehouse by the river, alone. Heed the instructions, or Bruno suffers.” On the bottom it was signed “The Butcher.”

Kamala’s knees turned to jelly as she was met with a surge of different emotions. She was happy to find Bruno, but she was scared on what the Butcher had in store for her. It didn’t matter what she was feeling however, she needed to save Bruno no matter what. Kamala rushed towards the abandoned warehouse. The building was broken down after years of being left all alone. Kamala’s stomach churned as she turned the knob on the entrance door slowly. Every fiber of her body told her to turn back, but she knew she couldn’t. As she entered, all she could see was darkness. Suddenly, lights flashed on, illuminating the entire warehouse. However the only thing that came into vision was one person. He was dressed in a green trench coach, and the same alluring black mask. It was him, it was the Butcher.

“I’m glad you could make it,” his voice was the same as always. But this time it was different. His voice calmed Kamala down, as if he wasn’t here to hurt her.

“Where’s Bruno??!” Kamal yelled.

“Dont worry, we’ll get to him soon enough. After all he’s the most important piece of today’s lesson,” the butcher was calm as he spoke. As if he was talking to a student.

“You see, my hobby is to show people  who believe that they can do good that nothing matters in the end. When faced with difficult choices, the people who are so sure of justice are the one’s who falter. When the actions one must take are grey, the people who live by a code of black and white are the one’s fail everyone around them,” as he talked, it seemed as though he was speaking of something familiar to himself.

“I have no time for this, show me Bruno right now, or I’ll crush you,” Kamala demanded. Her voice seemed angry, yet it had a hint of desperation. She just couldn’t see where the Butcher was going, and she was afraid to find out.

“Ah but you will make time, if you want to save Bruno that is,” the butcher replied.

“What do you want from me?” Why are you doing this?” Kamala asked.

“You see, I’ve been examining your work for awhile and I could see it in your eyes. Your sense of pure justice. You believe that the right thing is so easy. That all you need to do is make the right choice. You’re just like someone I know, someone I hate. But what if the decision you make isn’t the right choice? What if there is no right choice? Will you falter in front of an impossible decision?” the man explained, but as he spoke, Kamala only became more confused.

 

“You’re insane, just show me Bruno right now!.” Kamala yelled, getting more and more enraged.

“Relax, I’m going to explain everything.” As he talked, he moved over to a wall with different colored buttons and switches. He pressed the red button, and Kamala began to hear a mechanical buzzing all around her. The wall behind the Butcher began to rise and Kamala made out what seemed to be a chair and a transparent wall leading to a closed off room. She made out what looked to be a person behind the walls. The person seemed drained, unable to move.

“It’s Bruno!” Kamala thought.

“Let Bruno go right now!” Kamala demanded, as her fists grew to the size of a small car.

“Ah you see, whether he gets out or not, that will be up to you. Bruno only has enough air to live for about 5 more minutes, and the wall is reinforced with vibranium making it impossible to destroy,” the Butchers voice seemed to have a hint of excitement like a child describing the rules to his favorite game.

The Butcher walked across to the chair and sat down. He strapped himself in and looked towards Kamala.

“What do you want from me? Please just let him go,” Kamala begged. Brute force wasn’t going to save Bruno. All thoughts left Kamala’s brain, and she stood trembling uncontrollably.

“Let me tell you a little story. Once there was a little boy who lived with his mom and dad. He loved his mom very much. He was also the biggest fan of super heros. He loved, them and wanted to be just like them. He wanted to get rid of all the evil in the world,” the Butchers tone changed, his voice became hoarse.

“But his dad would yell at his mom and beat her, the little boy would always worry for his mom’s safety. One day his dad came home really drunk, and started beating his mom again. The little boy finally had enough and reached for a knife. All the little boy had to do was go after his dad and his mom and him would be safe forever.”

“But the little boy couldn’t go through with it, he was too afraid to make the decision,” the Butchers voice changed again, this time his voiced seemed more apathetic.

“The next day the boy returned from school to find police cars all over his house. His dad had killed his mom and was arrested,” Kamala could feel a little tremble in the voice of the Butcher. ”

“You see, the little boy could have saved his mom but he faltered in the face of an impossible decision. He chose not to take action and it would haunt him forever.” Now I’m going to see what you’ll do in with the same problem.” “No, I will show you that your sense of justice will not save you. It will make you falter. Just like me.”

“On your right you’ll find a lever, that lever will open the wall to Bruno freeing him. However that same lever will inject a poison from this chair and it will kill me,” the Butcher seemed to be almost laughing as he explained. “The choice when you think of it in terms of good and evil seems so easy.”

“But in reality, it’s an impossible decision, it is one that changes you, tests you in a way that takes you to the very peak of what kind of hero you want to be. What will you do?” the Butcher became silent, and he sat and waited.

“You’re INSANE!! Stop all of this!” Kamala roared at the top of her lungs.

The Butcher just sat in silence. Bruno didn’t have much time left, she had to act. Kamala ran over to the lever, and she put her hands on it. It was cold, lifeless, unlike her body which was burning, both with anger and a sense of desperation. Kamala could not bring herself to pull the lever, her body stopped in its tracks. Her mind raced inside of her, bringing of thoughts of her dad, her mom, and anyone else as she thought of advice for what she should do. However she could not focus on any of them, as the situation was making it impossible for her to focus on anything.

“What should I do?” Kamala thought. “What would Captain America do?”

With each passing second, Kamala felt her mind rushing, her heart felt as if she was moving at the speed of light. She turned to look at the Butcher. Even through his mask she could see a calmness on his face. Kamala knew she needed to act. Being a hero was important to her, but nothing was more important than the people she loved.

Kamala emerged from the warehouse with Bruno In her arms. He was sleeping, tired from the ordeal he went through. His body felt light, and that made Kamala’s heart sink. The sun was rising as a ray of light blinded her, and seemed to blanket the cold river. Kamala’s mind was still blank, not a single though was going through her head. She continued to walk in a daze, until one thought came to her. In the last few seconds she heard the Butcher whisper something to himself.

“I see.. I was wrong,” the Butcher said under his breathe, and as he said that, Kamala could almost feel as if he was smiling.

Artist Statement

1. My inspiration for this fanfiction was all of the last few classes. Our lessons focused on literary expression through more creative means and that made me want to challenge myself with this last project.
2. My audience for this project is anyone who enjoys a good superhero story. They should be aware that this is a fan made piece and that there are some creative liberties that were taken. The audience should also be aware who Kamala and her lore is as basic information to understand the story to the fullest.
3. I want them to learn that creating a piece of literature can come in many forms. It is also important for me to get across that anyone can do it. Expressing one’s ideas is challenging and fun.
4. I believe that they will learn that. Even if they do not enjoy the piece that I have written, they can still express their own ideas through the mediums that they enjoy.
5. My emotional impact was going for a dynamic between the two main characters. I wanted them to have a sort of a juxtoposition between them. The antagonist had to have a good motive, and similar traits to Kamala, making himself a bit more relateable to Kamala. My emotional impact that I was going for was both a villain and hero that people felt empathy for.
6. The specific panels that I focused on were the panels where Kamala wrestled with herself. Whether they be from self confidence, her parents or just dealing with her emotions. It was important to see how Kamala made her choices, and what kind of hero she was, not only when she put on the costume but when she’s just by herself.
7. I learned that a strength that I have in writing is coming up with ideas and characters. My weakness is implementing those ideas in satisfactory way. Those weaknesses are further impacted by my inexperience in writing. With less literary techniques under my belt, it was difficult to fully flesh my ideas out on paper.
8. The unique perspective that I bring is one where Kamala goes through an experience that she had not gone through yet. When tested in a way that she has never been before, how will she act? That was a question that I wanted to explore. Kamala is a unique superhero in that her background is very modern and very ordinary. There are no toxic serums, radioactive waste, dead parents any of that. I wanted to see how a superhero who’s just like us acts when tested. This is why I also created a villain who’s background is the complete opposite yet with similar ideals. The villain was created as a  parody of comic evil with qualities that make him relatable to Kamala. I believe this perspective is unique to my story and the value it brings is in the fact that it shows what kind of hero Kamala is.
9. I learned through this project how much I enjoy writing, fiction especially. I also learned about the difficult process on researching about the heros and lore so that you dont do a disservice to the original author. How Kamala talks, acts, the way she interacts with people, it was all crucial to get correct.
10. There wasn’t much I didn’t learn.
11. I would love to learn more about the lore of the world. Also about creating characters and the stories. There’s also just techniques of writing and basic grammar points.
12. The biggest discussion that impacted my choice to write this piece was when the comic artist came. Her way of explaining drawing, and keeping it simple and step by step definitely made literary art less daunting.
13. With another week for this project I would like to flesh out the interaction between the two characters more. Maybe make them meet each other multiple times, add different trials maybe henchmen. There would also be action scenes that I would add that due to time constraints I was not able to get correct. I would love to explore this story deeper with more time.
14. From this project I take a fresh new perspective on literature. Specifically on what I can create. It was an amazing experience to create something so different than what I have done before.
15. The last thing I want to tell the audience is that I hope they relax and enjoy this piece. It is my last project of a class I loved. I truly enjoyed every second of making this piece. It was a great year where I learn so much about myself as a writer and as a person.
16. I just wanted to thank Professor Polish for a great year and for everything I am taking with me from this class. Thank you

Expectation

http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/wp-admin/post.php?post=1067&action=edit

Pre Draft

http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/wp-admin/post.php?post=1120&action=edit

Rough Draft

http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/wp-admin/post.php?post=1197&action=edit

Peer Review

Nawal and Diego

The sharp winds slapped her face as they whirled all around her. It was cold even for Jersey standards. The buildings looked grim and grey, making her current situation seem impossibly hopeless. Bruno had disappeared and Kamala spent every waking moment of the last few days searching for him. The usual hideout, the junk yard, she searched everywhere she could think of, and the frustration built as every single lead went nowhere. Kamal sighed and fell down on the floor feeling hopeless. Her red and blue suit didn’t make her feel as powerful as usual. As she racked her brains for where he could be, she began to feel disheartened and the world around her grew larger.

“Where could he be? There’s gotta be a clue somewhere.” Kamala said under her breathe.

“If he’s in danger I have to find him fast.. Think Kamala think!”

Just then, a thought ignited her brain and she immediately remembered what might be a key clue to finding Bruno. Two months ago she was stopping a bank robbery she remembered a certain man who was different than the other robbers. It didn’t seem as if he was getting captured, but more allowing her to take him in. His face was covered in a black mask and he wore a dark green trench coach. Kamala remembered gripping him tightly with her right hand and he spoke to her.

“You remind me of someone I know. You seem so interesting. So pure, like an empty canvas.”

His voice was like gravel on the sidewalk. It sent a chill down her spine and a tingly sensation raced around her body. He was captured but Kamal felt like she wasn’t in control. Something felt different with this criminal.

“I assume your new to this crime fighting thing. I’m guessing you think you have it all figured out?” The mysterious stranger asked.

“It’s none of your business.” Kamal replied. Her voice quivered as she answered.

“Oh but it is. I’ve been so…  bored. All these heros are so uninteresting. They have no limits. They dont wrestle with themselves. Who are they to decide what they should and should not do.” The man talked, but strangely it drew Kamal’s attention.

He continued his monologue. “But you, you’re different. You fight with yourself every day. You believe you’re in control, but you’re not. When faced with an impossible decision, I wonder how you’ll react. It makes me feel alive thinking about it.”

“Yeah you can think about it jail.” Kamal said with a grin.

“Thats not going to happen.” The man replied.

“Oh yeah? well y..” Kamala was interrupted by an explosion.

The ceiling crumbled and fell on her making her lose the grip on the man. As he walked away she could hear him speak.

“You’ll be hearing from me soon, my pet project. You can call me the Butcher.” He walked away laughing.

“It cant be.. right?” Kamal whispered.

Kamala returned home, in a daze, thinking about if the Butcher was really behind this. What could she do? Should she call the police? As she walked into her room, she noticed something was off. She felt a certain chill in the room. The curtains on her windows danced with the wind.

“Thats odd.. I dont remember leaving my windows open.”

Just then she noticed a note on her desk. She lunged for it and scanned it rapidly. In the note was a short message. “Come to the abandoned warehouse by the river, alone. Heed the instructions, or Bruno suffers.” On the bottom it was signed “The Butcher.”

Kamala’s knees turned to jelly as she was met with a surge of different emotions. She was happy to find Bruno, but she was scared on what the Butcher had in store for her. It didn’t matter what she was feeling however, she needed to save Bruno no matter what. Kamala rushed towards the abandoned warehouse. The building was broken down after years of being left all alone. Kamala’s stomach churned as she turned the knob on the entrance door slowly. Every fiber of her body told her to turn back, but she knew she couldn’t. As she entered, all she could see was darkness. Suddenly, lights flashed on, illuminating the entire warehouse. However the only thing that came into vision was one person. He was dressed in a green trench coach, and the same alluring black mask. It was him, it was the Butcher.

“I’m glad you could make it.” His voice was the same as always. But this time it was different. His voice calmed Kamala down, as if he wasn’t here to hurt her.

“Where’s Bruno??!” Kamal yelled.

“Dont worry, we’ll get to him soon enough. After all he’s the most important piece of today’s lesson.” The butcher was calm as he spoke. As if he was talking to a student.

“You see, my hobby is to show people  who believe that they can do good that nothing matters in the end. When faced with difficult choices, the people who are so sure of justice are the one’s who falter. When the actions one must take are grey, the people who live by a code of black and white are the one’s fail everyone around them.” As he talked, it seemed as though he was speaking of something familiar to himself.

“I have no time for this, show me Bruno right now, or I’ll crush you.” Kamala demanded. Her voice seemed angry, yet it had a hint of desperation. She just couldn’t see where the Butcher was going, and she was afraid to find out.

“Ah but you will make time, if you want to save Bruno that is.” The butcher replied.

“What do you want from me?” Why are you doing this?” Kamala asked.

“You see, I could see it in your eyes. Your sense of pure justice. You believe that the right thing is so easy. That all you need to do is make the right choice. But what if the decision you make isn’t the right choice? What if there is no right choice? Will you falter in front of an impossible decision?” The man explained, but as he spoke, Kamala only became more confused.

“You’re insane, just show me Bruno right now!.” Kamala yelled, getting more and more enraged.

“Relax, I’m going to explain everything.” As he talked, he moved over to a wall with different colored buttons and switches. He pressed the red button, and Kamala began to hear a mechanical buzzing all around her. The wall behind the Butcher began to rise and Kamala made out what seemed to be a chair and what seemed to be a transparent wall leading to a closed off room. She saw what seemed to be a person behind the walls. The person seemed drained, unable to move.

“It’s Bruno!” Kamala thought.

“Let Bruno go right now!” Kamala demanded, as her fists grew to the size of a small car.

“Ah you see, whether he gets out or not.that will be up to you. Bruno only has enough air to live for about 5 more minutes, and the wall is reinforced with vibranium making it impossible to destroy.” The Butchers voice seemed to have a hint of excitement like a child describing his favorite video game.

The Butcher walked across to the chair and sat down. He strapped himself in and looked towards Kamala.

“What do you want from me? Please just let him go.” Kamala begged. Brute force wasn’t going to save Bruno. All thoughts left Kamala’s brain, and she stood trembling uncontrollably.

“Let me tell you a little story. Once there was a little boy who lived with his mom and dad. He loved his mom very much. He was also the biggest fan of super heros. He loved, them and wanted to be just like them. He wanted to get rid of all the evil in the world.” The Butchers tone changed, his voice became hoarse.

“But his dad would yell at his mom and beat her, the little boy would always worry for his mom’s safety. One day his dad came home really drunk, and started beating his mom again. The little boy finally had enough and reached for a knife. All the little boy had to do was go after his dad and his mom and him would be safe forever.”

“But the little boy couldn’t go through with it, he was too afraid to make the decision. The Butchers voice changed again, this time his voiced seemed more apathetic. “The next day the boy returned from school to find police cars all over his house. His dad had killed his mom and was arrested.”

Kamala could feel a little tremble in the voice of the Butcher. ” You see, the little boy could have saved his mom but he faltered in the face of an impossible decision. He chose not to take action and it would haunt him forever.” Now I’m going to see what you’ll do in with the same problem.”

“On your right you’ll find a lever, that lever will open the wall to Bruno freeing him. However that same lever will inject a poison from this chair and it will instantly kill me.” The Butcher seemed to be almost laughing as he explained. “The choice when you think of it in terms of good and evil seems so easy.”

“But in reality, it’s an impossible decision, it is one that changes you, tests you in a way that takes you to the very peak of what kind of hero you want to be. What will you do?” The Butcher became silent, and he sat and waited.

“You’re INSANE!! Stop all of this!” Kamala roared at the top of her lungs.

The Butcher just sat in silence. Bruno didn’t have much time left, she had to act. Kamala ran over to the lever, and she put her hands on it. It was cold, lifeless, unlike her body which was burning, both with anger and a sense of desperation. Kamala could not bring herself to pull the lever, her body stopped in its tracks. Her mind raced inside of her, bringing of thoughts of her dad, her mom, and anyone else as she thought of advice for what she should do. However she could not focus on any of them, as the situation was making it impossible for her to focus on anything.

“What should I do?” Kamala thought. “What would Captain America do?”

With each passing second, Kamala felt her mind rushing, her heart felt as if she was moving at the speed of light. She turned to look at the Butcher. Even through his mask she could see a calmness on his face. Kamala knew she needed to act. Being a hero was important to her, but nothing was more important than the people she loved.

Kamala emerged from the warehouse. The sun was rising as a ray of light blinded her, and seemed to blanket the cold river. Kamala’s mind was still blank, not a single though was going through her head. She continued to walk in a daze, until one thought came to her. In the last few seconds she could hear the Butcher whisper something to himself.

“I see.. I was wrong,” the Butcher said under his breathe, and as he said that, Kamala could almost feel as if he was smiling.

1. Is the piece written in a well paced manner?
2. Is anything confusing or difficult to understand?
3. The motive of the villain seems to be a bit unclear, any suggestions?
4. I purposely kind of put an open ended ending to keep it from being even darker than it turned out to be. Does it take away from the story?
5. Any suggestions are welcome!

1. I learned on Monday that it isn’t impossible to do a creatively motivated project. The exercise showed me that with enough work anyone can create a successful artistic project, regardless of their ability. Creativity isn’t a box that minds are jammed into, but the opposite. With the new found confidence, I learned that we can approach comics, Ms.Marvel in general with many different perspectives and explore fresh new ideas.
2. The lesson definitely impacted the format for the assignment. I was going to do a analytical essay but now I am going to write a fan fiction.
3. This format will allow me to explore different shades of Ms.Marvel, and her identity. The format will give me the tools to put her in circumstances that will show who she is while staying consistent to both the lore and the character that she is written
4. I am excited to see where I can take Ms.Marvel. The challenge she might face and how she might solves those characters based on how she is written in her comics.
5. Ms.Marvel is teaching me that writing can come in so many different formats, and be accessible by anyone. We often learn that writing and reading must be in a certain format, and “good” literature must be a certain way, and feature specific type of characters. However, Ms.Marvel shows me that literature can come in all kinda of formats and feature a diverse cast and be perfect.

 

The grade I am expecting to work for and to get is an A. According to the grading contract, I will be willing to put in the effort and time necessary to receive the A. Not only will the time be there, but constant editing and revising to improve the piece to get an A will be exhibited. This project definitely seems to demand a large number of time to produce a good result. I will also be putting forth time as it will be the last real project of this course which I enjoyed heavily. I cannot wait to do the final peer reviews and get to relish the work of my peers one last time. The format of this project seems to be ambiguous as of now. I seem to be gravitating towards a podcast, or a traditional analysis poem to educate myself more on the side stories and characters that comics often portray so well. Ms.Marvel definitely piqued my interest by having characters that are multidimensional and have fleshed out characteristics with very little space to tell their stories. It will be a blast diving into the complexities that Ms.Marvel presents.

Education is a key component to the success of one’s life. However, how can people in poverty pursue education when their first worry might be whether or not they may be able to eat? Poverty is a real problem even in our own communities. If people in poverty cannot properly receive the education they need to succeed because of their socioeconomic status, are they just destined to dwell in that status, never allowed to succeed? There’s no question that education is necessary in order to succeed in today’s society, and yet it seems like the people who are in need of it the most are lagging behind everyone else. Being in poverty burdens the students with health problems, emotional problems and more all stemming from the death sentence of poverty.

A college degree is becoming a minimum requirement for more and more jobs every day. Although a college degree is necessary to move up the socioeconomic ladder, people in poverty are faced with ordeals before they even get there. There’s data everywhere that shows a high correlation between school results and family income. According to the article Changing the Poisonous Narrative by Dodge Arnold, the college board website shows that for the SAT’s the kids on the bottom of the income charts score the lowest, and the kids on the top of the income charts score the highest. Not only with the SAT’s but the National Assessment of Educational Progress scores also correlate in the same way as the SAT’s with family income. It’s no question that people in poverty are scoring less on major tests like the SAT’s. The SAT’s are tests that dictate which college one can get into. Even if you have immaculate grades, with low SAT scores, top ranking universities are out of reach. With statistics such as these, there’s no debate that there’s obstacles barring the low income families from doing as well as the higher income families. We can safely say that students in higher socioeconomic status families are not generally more gifted as the scores for both tests are from all different kinds of students with the only variable being the income that their family brings in. There are many more statistics that widens the chasm that separates the poor and the rich. Lower income families struggle to graduate, are more likely to have developmental issues, and even get involved with the criminal justice system. The complex issue on why these specific students are not performing as well as their high income peers is one that’s not difficult to understand. Simply put, the children in poverty are simply burdened with a load that’s difficult to bear whether is maybe emotionally or physically.

There is an array of reasons for why low income families might be scoring lower in general.  Health is an aspect that gets glossed over when it comes to the topic of education, yet is a crucial aspect for success in whatever one may do. Many children from low income families are simply put, not healthy. Whether it’s due to the living conditions of their homes, to the quality of food they eat. The article “Confronting a Low Income Crisis in Low Income Schools” Steve Suitts informs that us 52% percent of students are eligiuble for free or reduced lunch. American school lunches typically consists of pizza, burger, or any other type of readily available food with a side of milk and a piece of fruit. For many students this may be their only meal, and it is certainly not ideal nourishment for a student. Pizza and burgers are not nutritionally dense, yet according to Suitts, more than half of the students in the U.S are receiving these lunches. Nutrition is necessary for success. It is difficult to process a single thought when hungry, much less mathematical equations and linguistic statements. The students in poverty are being fed a lunch that simply does not meet the requirements for a healthy body. Not only are they digesting subpar food, but that may be the only meal that they met get for the day. It’s no secret that people living in poverty may not be able to afford a meal or two during the day, further adding to the problem of malnourished students. Hunger keeps the students from being able to focus, being unable to focus in class leads to lower test grades, and falling behind academically. The statistic that children who are eligible for free lunch scoring lower is not surprising when you think about how crucial nutrition is to a healthy body and mind, while also realizing how difficult doing anything is when you’re hungry.

Health is not only about nutrition, but also about the actual conditions of the body. In the article “Educating Students About Poverty and Health Needs” by June Heart Romeo, he sheds light on an eye opening and somewhat saddening fact, poor children often have terrible living conditions and live in fear of diseases and other problems every day. In the article of middle class university students work on a project where they taught a health class for the children of the poorest part of the city that they are in. They university students elected to teach a class on dental hygiene. To the students surprise none of the children were interested, but instead asked to be educated on treating gunshot wounds, knife wounds, drug overdoses and head injuries. Often, to the children in poverty health is not about colds, and personal hygiene, but about survival. Young scholars are living day to day without thoughts of how to survive till the next day, and how to avoid fatal injuries. Once again, it is no surprise that these children are unable to focus in class when they are busy being forced to “grow up.” It is difficult to imagine children in school having to deal with tragedies such as gunshots, and drug overdoses, yet it is apparent that many children living in poverty go through them in a daily basis. The article also say that one in seven children have no health insurance, which means that the diseases that often plague poverty stricken areas are left to reign free. Without health insurance, even a simple infection can be a devastating complication to these students. Broken arms, headaches, and even the common cold can be a heavy burden for the students to bear. Health is a necessity for anything in life, but these children are expected to perform in class without the basic human requirements. These children are burdened with worries far beyond what anyone that is not in their situation can imagine. It is a never ending cycle for these students, as they cannot focus on their education because of their poverty, and because they cannot focus on their education they cannot escape said poverty. It is a suffocating situation that squeezes the very life out of one’s body and yet these young scholars are burdened with that life every day.

Unfortunately, physical health is not the end of the problems that students in poverty may have to deal with. On top of the seemingly mountainous weight on top of these children’s shoulders, there is also another that saps all motivation and ability to focus on their studies. The home environment is crucial in developing young students and yet low income families tend to struggle with creating a stable home for children. Low income families may have parents that often go overseas in the hopes of making money, there may be a death due to overworking, and not having all the necessary health requirements. There is also the real threat of homelessness. In the article “Child Homelessness in U.S Reaches Historic High’s” by Stav Ziv, he apprises us of the fact that one in thirty children or 2.5million in the U.S experienced homelessness in 2013. 2.5million is a massive number of children who experienced being homeless, and there’s that many more that live with the looming danger of homelessness over their heads every day. Having a home to live in is a basic human need, and with so many children burdened with the worry of losing or having lost their home, it’s not difficult to see why children in poverty struggle in school. It is a suffocating experience having to worry about where one might have to go to find shelter, yet many young scholars go through it every day. It is disheartening that so many children are unable to be children and live with the burden that even adults have a difficult time coping with. Home is a place where students should be able to relax and study comfortably. When there is such a disorientation in the homes, it is almost impossible to focus on studies, or find the motivation to do anything at all. Poverty is once again a foot on the throat of young students, tightening its grip on them every second.

With everything a student from a low income family might have to go through, it’s no wonder why the students suffer academically. The obstacles of poverty make it all but impossible for students to succeed academically or in anything. The foundation that the students can base their studying off of is nonexistent. From uncertain home situations, to wondering if they’ll even eat, they live with the burden of poverty looking over their shoulders every day. So many students are being denied a healthy body, mind and environment that they are able to study in. It is a saddening truth but not one that we cannot change. As a community, we must be able to take part in giving our future generations a path where they are able to succeed. The future is in the young minds that are weighed down by poverty. We can all do more in order to ensure their weight is lifted and that our schools are filled with eager minds, that have all the necessary tools to succeed no matter the income.

 

Romeo, June Hart. “Educating Students about Poverty and Health Needs.” Educational Studies, vol. 32, no. 3, Sept. 2001, p. 317. EBSCOhost, mail.lagcc.cuny.edu/viplogin/default.aspx?redirect=http://search.ebscohost.com.rpa.laguardia.edu:2048/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=9517344&site=ehost-live.

Stav, Ziv “Child Homelessness In U.S Reach Record Highs”  11/17/14 AT 8:01 PM, http://www.newsweek.com/child-homelessness-us-reaches-historic-high-report-says-285052, 5/07/17

 

Dodge, Arnold. “Changing the Poisonous Narrative: A Conversation with Diane Ravitch.” Educational Leadership, vol. 69, no. 4, Dec. 2011, pp. 54-58. EBSCOhost, mail.lagcc.cuny.edu/viplogin/default.aspx?redirect=http://search.ebscohost.com.rpa.laguardia.edu:2048/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=67664427&site=ehost-live.

 

Romeo, June Hart. “Educating Students about Poverty and Health Needs.” Educational Studies, vol. 32, no. 3, Sept. 2001, p. 317. EBSCOhost, mail.lagcc.cuny.edu/viplogin/default.aspx?redirect=http://search.ebscohost.com.rpa.laguardia.edu:2048/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=9517344&site=ehost-live.

 

Expectation

http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/wp-admin/post.php?post=946&action=edit

Pre Draft

http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/wp-admin/post.php?post=705&action=edit

Draft

http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/wp-admin/post.php?post=746&action=edit

Peer Reviews

Research Paper

Rough Draft for Assignment 2

Artist Statement

My audience for the paper is anyone who is a student or a former student. Specifically the one’s that did not grow up in a low income family. Often times we see students that fall behind in class and we look down on them. I myself have gotten called lazy when my grades dropped and it was a gut wrenching experience. However there are complex issues to every problem, and I want the reader to learn that maybe there are a bit more reasons to why students in low income families may perform worse in classrooms. I want the audience to learn just a little of the burdens that students in low income families bear. I believe that there is at least some aspects of students in poverty that the readers can learn of. The reason I believe that the audience will learn is because these problems are often unthinkable for people who are not in these situations. The unique perspective that I brought for this paper is the ability to process what information is relatable. I have lived through some of these conditions and many of my neighbors also went through them. I believe that the problems that are presented in my article are picked clean from different sources and are one’s that are actual real problems in the lives of students in poverty. I learned that there are many different students that went through the same conditions that I went through. It was eye opening to see how many students grew up with a threat of homelessness, or going long hours without meals. I wanted to learn more about broken homes, and the family situations of students in poverty, but it would have made the project a little too broad. I would love to learn more about how much help is given to these students. Often times we just learn about problems and what is done to solve these problems are never discussed at all. The peer reviews definitely helped narrow down my research question. I had a difficult time because my research question was too broad. The class discussions and peer reviews helped guide my research into a much deeper thesis, and helped me focus on a few key details. I definitely got better at developing a stronger research question with a solid foundation to dig deeper into. In the beginning it was difficult to even find research material because my question was so broad. With another week, I would love to expand upon the problems that the students go through, and even add a couple of solutions that are being developed or already implemented. With the extra time I would be allowed to explore my question a bit deeper and also add a new element or a question that can intertwine with my original thesis. The last thing I want to tell the audience before they read my paper is to keep an open mind and be ready to see how heavy the show on the other persons foot may be.

For the research assignment, I believe that an exploration into actual circumstances of each and any character will be rewarding as it is eye opening. Intersection is so interesting as it has so many characters that feel different from one other. I want to receive and A on this assignment and I am willing to put for all the work that is necessary to receive said A. I am unsure as of now what form I will do the assignment in, but I am leaning towards a podcast style. Peer reviews are crucial in receiving a good grade so I will be putting much of my effort on them also.

 

Education is a key component to the success of one’s life. However, how can people in poverty pursue education when their first worry might be whether or not they may be able to eat? Poverty is a real problem even in our own communities. If people in poverty cannot properly receive the education they need to succeed because of their socioeconomic status, are they just destined to dwell in that status, never allowed to succeed? I wanted to explore deeper into the challenges of what people in lower socioeconomic statuses might face, and how that might affect them in the classrooms. The topic that I wanted to dissect is about the obstacles people in poverty who are pursuing an education to improve their lives go through, and how these obstacles are keeping them from achieving success in both inside and outside the classrooms.

There’s no question that education is necessary in order to succeed in today’s society. A college degree is becoming a minimum requirement for more and more jobs every day. Although a college degree is necessary to move up the socioeconomic ladder, people in poverty are faced with ordeals before they even get there. There’s data everywhere that shows a high correlation between school results and family income. According to the article Changing the Poisonous Narrative by Dodge Arnold, the college board website shows that for the SAT’s the kids on the bottom of the income charts score the lowest, and the kids on the top of the income charts score the highest. Not only with the SAT’s but the National Assessment of Educational Progress scores also correlate in the same way as the SAT’s with family income. These are just some statistics that show a small piece of the bigger puzzle, but it is a piece that is alarming. The SAT’s are tests that dictate which college one can get into. Even if you have immaculate grades, with low SAT scores, top ranking universities are out of reach. With statistics such as these, there’s no debate that there’s obstacles barring the low income families from doing as well as the higher income families. We can safely say that students in higher socioeconomic status families are not generally more gifted as the scores for both tests are from all different kinds of students with the only variable being the income that their family brings in. There are many more statistics that widens the chasm that separates the poor and the rich. Lower income families struggle to graduate, are more likely to have developmental issues, and even get involved with the criminal justice system. With these clear obstacles we can delve even deeper into the topic. What exactly are the some of the underlying causes that are keeping the low income families from doing as well as the high income families.

There is an array of reasons for why low income families might be scoring lower in general.  Health is an aspect that gets glossed over when it comes to the topic of education. Many children from low income families are simply put, not healthy. Whether it’s due to the living conditions of their homes, to the quality of food they eat. The article by Steve Suitts says that 52% percent of students are eligble for free or reduced lunch. American school lunches typically consists of pizza, burger, or any other type of readily available food with a side of milk and a piece of fruit. For many students this may be their only meal, and it is certainly not ideal nourishment for a student. The article on education journal states that students on free meals on average scored lower than the students who did not. Nutrition is a huge aspect of anyone’s lives but especially growing children. The statistic that children who are eligible for free lunch scoring lower is not surprising when you think about how crucial nutrition is to a healthy body and mind, while also realizing how difficult doing anything is when you’re hungry.

Health is not only about nutrition, but also about the actual conditions of the body. The article by June Heart Romeo sheds light on an eye opening and somewhat saddening fact, poor children often have terrible living conditions and live in fear of diseases and other problems every day. In the article a group of middle class university students work on a project where they taught a health class for the children of the poorest part of the city that they are in. They university students elected to teach a class on dental hygiene. To the students surprise none of the children were interested, but instead asked to be educated on treating gunshot wounds, knife wounds, drug overdoses and head injuries. Often, to the children in poverty health is not about colds, and personal hygiene, but about survival. The article also say that one in seven children have no health insurance, which means that the diseases that often plague poverty stricken areas are left to reign free. Again we can see that it’s no surprise that children in poverty are not able to focus on schoolwork, as they are busy trying to function physically. It is difficult to think about vocabulary and math problems when you must be wary of getting sick, or even physical injuries. These children are burdened with worries far beyond what anyone that is not in their situation can imagine. It is a never ending cycle for these students, as they cannot focus on their education because of their poverty, and because they cannot focus on their education they cannot escape said poverty. It is a suffocating situation that squeezes the very life out of one’s body and yet these young scholars are burdened with that life every day.

On top of the seemingly mountainous weight on top of these children’s shoulders, there is also another that saps all motivation and ability to focus on their studies. That is the concept of poverty home environments and the emotional stress that comes with it. The article on College journal states that lower income homes simply do not expose students materials that are used in school. It goes unto further say that students who are not stimulated intellectually at home are more often to struggle in school and ultimately drop out. The home environment is crucial in developing young students and yet low income families tend to struggle with creating a stable home for children. Statistics show a significant negative correlation between broken homes and students performance academically. Low income family’s also tend to have broken homes. Parents might often go overseas in the hopes of making money, there may be a death due to overworking, and not having all the necessary health requirements. There may also be separation of the parents, and the real threat of homelessness. One can easily see how having a chaotic home can heavily damage the personality, emotions, and mental state of an adolescent. It is easy to imagine why a student in poverty might not be able to succeed academically. Home is a place where students should be able to relax and study comfortably. When there is such a disorientation in the homes, it is almost impossible to focus on studies, or find the motivation to do anything at all. Poverty is once again a foot on the throat of young students, tightening its grip on them every second.

With everything a student from a low income family might have to go through, it’s no wonder why the students might suffer academically. The obstacles of poverty make it all but impossible for students to succeed academically or in anything. From broken homes, to wondering if they’ll even eat, they live with the burden of poverty looking over their shoulders every day. It is a saddening truth but not one that we cannot change. As a community, we must be able to take part in giving our future generations a path where they are able to succeed. The future is in the young minds that are weighed down by poverty. We can all do more in order to ensure their weight is lifted and that our schools are filled with eager minds, that have all the necessary tools to succeed no matter the income.

 

 

http://web.a.ebscohost.com.rpa.laguardia.edu:2048/ehost/detail/detail?sid=1fd87237-8329-4a19-80a6-c3488a62461b%40sessionmgr4008&vid=0&hid=4209&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#AN=9517344&db=a9h

http://www.newsweek.com/child-homelessness-us-reaches-historic-high-report-says-285052

http://web.a.ebscohost.com.rpa.laguardia.edu:2048/ehost/detail/detail?vid=2&sid=26f4f93e-171c-4363-91be-33c802fce99d%40sessionmgr4008&hid=4209&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#AN=67664427&db=a9h

http://web.a.ebscohost.com.rpa.laguardia.edu:2048/ehost/detail/detail?vid=10&sid=26f4f93e-171c-4363-91be-33c802fce99d%40sessionmgr4008&hid=4209&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#AN=9517344&db=a9h

 

Questions

1. Was my question that I wanted to answer and explore clear? Do you feel as if I did an adequate job of answering it.
2. Was my personal analysis of the articles, and questions lacking in content?
3. It was difficult to condense everything into a neat package, was there any information that you feel like I should’ve added, or omited?
4. I also felt as if the analysis was disorganized, what can I do to make it better.
5. Please add anything you can suggest to improve it. I found the assignment difficult to approach.

1. From what I read so far it seems many aspects of the play needed to be researched in order to put forth a high quality experience. For example police training and how they are trained to respond to situations seems to be adequately researched.
2. My own research can help me analyze this play by giving me more insight in a specific situation in the play that I may want to focus on. If I wanted to focus on the lives of people who are taking care of sick family members it may help to research the physical costs and what must be done to accommodate such members.
3. There are many different sources to research which might change depending on the question that I want to answer. However, a source that is always helpful is news articles. News articles provide concise insight with details that are usually important in context.
4. A specific part of intersection that has caught me is the plays ability to portray the tones of the dialogue between characters and the chaotic lives that the characters are going through. Every conversation feels immersive and feels as if the characters thoughts are all over the place. We truly feel as if we are in the arguments the characters are having. Doing research might give us some perspective to what the characters are going through, which will only make it even more immersive.
5. I believe research is finding out what something really is. As you learn more about a topic, you might find things about the topic that are initially incorrect, or more complex than initially though. To me, research is delving into a topic and exploring the intricacies of said topic. I believe research should be guided by an open minded that is curious and willing to learn. Research should also be motivated by the willingness to become more versed about the topic researched. Motivation for research is simply wanting to more about the topic at hand. Everyone does some sort of research. For example finding out which grocery store has the cheapest products is also another form of research.

 

Assignment 1 Expectations

My expectations for assignment one is to receive and A. The most important for myself is that at the end of the semester, I am a vastly improved writer than at the beginning of the semester. The grading contract states that there will be time and effort required in order for one to receive a satisfactory grade. In essence, I will receive what I put in. I expect to put in as much work that is necessary to get an A on my assignment 1. For the peer review I will be sure to focus and give the most insightful and helpful reviews that I can, while also using the reviews of my assignment to improve upon it. I would like to analyze the spoken word poem Ebonics 101. Ebonics 101 has many nuances such as the gestures the speaker makes, or the deliberate use of specific vocabulary that he chooses to use. These nuances seem interesting to explore, as it will also help me in my own writing. Getting ideas and points across to the reader as a writer is difficult. Studying how the poet of Ebonics 101 gets his point, his thoughts across will help me add another tool to my writing repertoire. Most of all, I expect to make sure I learn all I can from both the professor and my fellow academic peers.

John Sim

Brown Boy White Boy

Analytical Essay part 2

3/17/17

 

The Artistic Decisions of Mendoza in White Boy Brown Boy

A very difficult task for many writers is to engage the readers and get the ideas and thoughts expressed properly. Many times, I find myself writing in a terribly unorganized and frankly boring manner, while not conveying my thoughts adequately. Through my analysis of “Brown boy White Boy,” by Jonathan Mendoza I want to explore and answer a difficult question. The question is how can a writer explore a topic or dilemma and portray it meaningfully so that the audience will be engaged and understand the full premise of a work of literature. I will analyze and explore the poem and the poet and hope to answer my question while also discovering new tools that I may use in my own writing that will allow me to express my thoughts more gracefully. I also hope that this analysis helps me to show more raw emotions in literature that require it.

Jonathan Mendoza gives a show stopping performance in which he expressed the inner turmoil of being a biracial person in the U.S, specifically a mixed person who is white and brown. He shows the struggle of how he has no true place where he belongs by giving two completely different identities not unlike Jeklly and Hyde. Mendoza tells a story from two different points of view, and delivers the story in the perspective of literally two different people, a white boy and brown boy. He starts off mellow, giving instances on how each the white boy and brown boy try to be considerate of on another, although he is ultimately both. This technique is a creative way to express a point that he wants to get across, as he can contrast two points of view simultaneously without making his narrative disorganized or excessively broad. He states that the white boy does not want to infiltrate a safe space of color so that he isn’t a hindrance to the people who are present there. The brown boy does not want to hinder white people from having constructive dialogue which one can assume that he does not want to make it unpleasant for white people to talk about racial topics with his presence. Although they are ultimately one person, Mendoza is giving the perspective of how he might be a burden to both groups because of his biracial identity. He does not simply say that he didn’t know where he belonged, but shows his thoughts and his dilemma on how being both white and brown might affect others around him. We can see that Mendoza’s decides to juxtapose the brown and white parts of himself by giving instances where both identities are a burden to a group of people and thus showing a sense of negativity and a burden to his own self. It is a great technique that he is able to use, relating two different identities with similar experiences to show how having these two identities negatively affect him. We as an audience are led understand how it might be difficult to have the burden of living with the negative social aspects of more than one identity

Many times, it is difficult to show or intelligently convey an idea. However, Mendoza is able to paint a picture of what he desires to say by leading the audience along with a personal story about himself. Mendoza  goes to express his turmoil of not having a true place to belong by saying he posted a Facebook poll on how other people viewed him, and that the poll will determine how he dressed and spoke. He also states that the biracial boy wishes that his skin came with an instruction manual in which again we can see that Mendoza is showing an utter lack of identity by giving a glimpse of his past in which he asked others to decide who he was. He uses an anecdote to introduce a personal aspect about the poem, while also giving the audience a way to relate with him. Creating something relatable is a key technique to keep people invested.  He also does not spoon feed the audience what he wants to say, but masterfully weaves his experiences and thoughts into a story that people digest and unwind to find a confused, lonely boy that does not belong anywhere.

The poet then transitions into a dialogue that clashes the two identities against one another.  He says the brown boy tells the white boy to not identify as a person of color, to not appropriate a struggle that is not his and the white boy says that he will not erase the brown from his blood. He even goes on to compare himself to a tug of war, pulling from each end, which makes one visualize a struggle from two sides fighting to take control. Once again, Mendoza paints a picture with his words, allowing the audience to visualize his inner turmoil instead of simply stating that he has inner turmoil. Mendoza vividly expresses his battle, and confusion through a magnifying glass into himself that shows two warring sides both trying to make sense of who he is. Not only that but he simultaneously portrays a sense of being a fish out of water by saying that biracial boy is the discolored sheep of his family. Mendoza uses the metaphor of a tug of war to get across his sense of inner conflict, and his discolored sheep statement to show that this conflict causes him to be ostracized from the world around him. He tries his best to belong somewhere, yet ends up belonging nowhere. As an audience, it is again made evident that Mendoza is delivering what he wants us to understand in a way that is palatable, but yet intellectually challenging. His sense of conflict creates excitement and engagement to his performance.

He introduces the conflict to escalate the tone of his poem which he uses to transition into more heavy subjects. Another technique that we can see is that by introducing a slightly dark subject in order to transition into an even darker subject, the rhythm and tone of the poem is left undisturbed. Brown boy asks the white boy what it’s like to not get racially profiled. Giving an example of a white cop who is unaware of Mendoza’s biracial status and converses about immigration policies. Mendoza says that the brown boy screams and hide while the white boy stays silent. Here we can see how raw emotions can engage the audience first hand. As soon as Mendoza introduces the example of racial profiling, and how his brown side reacts, the audience clap and cheer. He speaks about a difficult subject without sugarcoating it, and it is received ecstatically.

Not only can we see a shift in tone of his poem, but we also see a shift in the tone of his delivery. His voice is noticeably more powerful, and his movements also reflect his voice. He uses larger hand movements and more violent gestures. Mendoza then says that he is the rope in the tug of war and he cannot hold himself together. and how he hates that society is splitting him apart. He concludes by saying that he is both the oppressor and the oppressed, while also saying that he is neither. He has no true identity and he hates it. Not only are the words he uses more visceral, but with the change in tone of the poem, as he adds more emotion the audience is clearly more engaged. We can hear more voices of agreement and cheers. Although we cannot physically see the audience, we can feel the energy of the room. It is difficult to include subjects that incite emotion, but it is without a doubt, a powerful tool that one can use to engage the audience.

Mendoza does a brilliant job on introducing a point through a creative idea of two different identity’s that make up one person.  Throughout the entire poem, he compares and contrasts two different people by telling a story of each one’s thoughts and situations while always making sure to show that they were two different parts of the same whole. He expresses his dilemma of being biracial, through conflict between his two identities how society will accept each as two separate entities but not as a whole. He is able to get his thoughts and problems across so masterfully, that the audience is engaged with each word. He also gets the audience to relate as everyone can relate to not belonging, and a sense of loneliness. A sense of inner conflict is not mutual to racial aspects but to anyone who is warring inside themselves. Mendoza is able to explore a complex idea of belonging, and tries to get the audience to understand how difficult it is for biracial people by using real world examples and also by telling one story from two different sides. Mendoza also puts on a clinic on how to get the audience invested. His specific emotional parts of his script and his noticeably more powerful delivery of those specific parts gets verbal engagement from the audience more than any other parts of his poem. It is easy to see how raw emotion affects the audience. Every artistic decision and his delivery of said decisions come together perfectly. The poem is masterfully crafted, and the poet is a an exceptional artist.

 

Artist Statement

1. My audience for this project is anyone who has viewed or experienced this poem. It is for anyone who might want to read a deeper analysis or perspective about this poem. I would like anyone reading this analysis to know that it focuses more on Mendoza’s artistic decisions, techniques, and delivery of said decisions.
2. I want the audience to learn as much as they can from my analysis. My focus was to dive into techniques that he uses to express his ideas and points in a way that is understandable, yet intellectually challenging, while also making it enjoyable. I also want the reader to learn how powerful writing that is emotionally invested can be. The most important thing that I would like the reader to learn is how there can be a multitude of perspectives about one performance or literature. There are so many tools that is available to authors and performers that can be used to create something unique and fun. I hope that the reader can also see how much work it might be to create something such as this poem by Mendoza.
3. I believe the reader can learn most of the things that I would like them to. My analysis was was straight to the point and trimmed of material that did not have to do with my goal. The audience may not have anything to learn however if they are aware of all the techniques that I delve into in my analysis. If that is the case, I hope that the analysis is still enjoyable.
4. My perspective is of someone who had more personal investment in this analysis, both content wise and reasoning wise. I have also had trouble conveying a point or idea in a way that was engaging and intellectually challenging. My writing usually persisted of “Batman is cool, and Superman is lame.” I could never show my audience what I wanted, and always ended up just stating my ideas. Since my analysis also had personal agenda, I feel as though there is much more investment to the analysis if nothing else. My value of this perspective is simply that I personally want to explore as a project instead of being something we are required to do.
5. I learned many different things through this project. I learned different tools that I can use as a writer such as juxtaposition to present a topic in a intellectually challenging way. Another thing of value that I learned was how to express topics and ideas without simply stating said topics and ideas. How to show turmoil, or sense of loss, are just one of the topics that was specific to the poem. I also learned that emotion and allowing people to relate to your story is a powerful tool in getting the audience engaged.
6. I didn’t really learn the thought process of an artist when he is creating such projects. I also didn’t learn too deeply on how the crowd physically reacted as there was never a cut to the audience.
7. I would love to learn about the thought process of the actual artist. I would love to learn on what he though about specific parts of the poem, both content and delivery wise. I would love to hear about his decision making process and why he chose to write certain parts of the poem and why he chose to deliver said lines as he did.
8. All of the class discussion helped me with the analysis of the poem. The biggest thing that I benefited from the class discussions was how complex a short 5 minute performance can be. There are so many different underlying themes, and well thought out choices of words and delivery that it was quite easy to dive into an analysis for the actual project. Being equipped to deeply analyze a poem was tremendously helpful for this project.
9. I was always aware of how difficult and emotionally invested poems were. However, this project just allowed me to see just how much content there is in a small poem. The amount of emotion and thoughts that are expressed in a performance was eye opening to realize.
10. If I had another week to work on my project I would definitely explore another question that is comparable to the question I answered. I would love to compare and contrast two ideas just like Mendoza did. I would also like to dissect more content of the poem, and be able to delve into deeper ideas and artistic design. There was so much usable content in the short 4 minutes that it was difficult to trim the essay down.
11. Before the reader gets to my essay I would like to say that I had a fun time exploring and dissecting the performance of the artist. I would wish the reader that he or she also enjoys the analysis that I gave of the poem.

Expectation http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/wp-admin/post.php?post=466&action=edit

Pre Draft  http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/wp-admin/post.php?post=154&action=edit

Draft http://archive.cunyhumanitiesalliance.org/breathingthroughwriting/wp-admin/post.php?post=305&action=edit

People I reviewd: Diego Ponciano (emailed) Maria Torres