Most of people can relate to this video in that most have called mother to someone even if that person is not biologically their mother. Mother is a powerful word because when we think about that word many others come to our mind like love, care, generosity, strength, etc.
The speaker presents to his mother in a melancholic and realistic way, because he mentions how much he loves and misses his mother. In addition, he points out and admits the times when he did not behave in a correct way toward his mother showing some regret in their words.
He uses graphic representations about to enhance what he feels when he is speaking and to make his points stronger. The objective of this poem is to ask for forgiveness because he no longer has his mother by his side. “I have one last request for you before you leave please since a lot of paradise beneath your feet please ask Allah to let paradise be the place where we finally meet”. When he said this, we realize that he lost his mom. Everybody has been through a loss of a loved one, so we know how painful it is. But to lose your mother must be one of the most painful feelings one can have. The author found the right words to describe how someone can realize what he had. He describes how his “mum” was since she carried him for nine months and how he used to ignore her when he was late to home. He also mentions the natural way his mother used to make him feel better when sick, by drinking a cup of tea with honey. To make us feel more connected to the poem, it shows us a clip of a warm cup of tea with honey, then we see the cup is in the whole video as well as the kitchen in the back, which I believe is the place he feels closer to her.
I have a long-distance relationship with my mother because she lives in my native country, Peru. I see her when I travel for vacations one a year but three weeks cannot be compared to a year of not having her by my side. At first it was hard to learn to be independent doing everything by myself. And after some time, I had to get strong. The poem touch my heart and made me realize how much I miss her and that I am not used to tell her how much I love her. Some people can relate to the poem and another purpose of this poem is to take actions in the present, not only with your mother but to all people who deserve to know how much you love and care for them.
Questions:
Is it clear? why?
what do you think I should not include?
What should I add?
Can you check my grammar?
Did you like it? Why?
I really love the way you connected yourself to the dear mum poem. its gets very emotional to hear such poems and reminds us the ones we love. It seems like you will dive in into this poem than the other. However, 2 specific ideas i would like you to expand on is how the tea and honey part makes you more connected. Describe your thoughts on this idea. The other part is how forgiveness is the main objective of this poem. I know you described it but you could do better and go deep in it. I see that you had jungle up so many ideas once at the time but it would be much better if you make you specific points throughout the assignment. Also i see that you haven’t decided how he uses graphic representations pleas enhance your explanation on this thought?
Lastly, i do understand what direction are your thoughts and ideas going which is love if i am not wrong. And overall it’s understandable. I understand the main topic which you had introduce in the first paragraph. But you did okay with the explanation of your main arguments you could do better than this. I see that your explanation could go deep. Laslt, the assignment was easy to understand and to read. Good job.
Gaby,
I think there are so many great things about this piece, and I think Hira has great advice for you regarding focusing in and getting deeper/more specific with the references you’re pointing out. Remember that “inch wide, mile deep” concept we were talking about in class as you continue to go through your revisions.
One additional place I think would use elaboration is your sharp use of the terms “melancholic” and “realistic” — these are great descriptors of what he’s doing with his poem, and I wonder if you could dive deeper into why these terms struck you as effective ways to describe his project. What specific rhetorical choices did he make that– like Hira was encouraging you to get into — clued you in to the dually melancholic and realistic nature of the piece?
I’m intrigued to see where you take it from here!