A mother plays a significant role in her child’s development and nothing can come close to the love she feels for her children. Raising children comes with its own share of frustrations and aggravation, from the needy new born baby that requires a lot of attention to the moody teenager, a mother’s job is anything but easy. Usually, a mother puts her children before anything else which most times means putting aside her own comfort and happiness. Not only do mothers support their children and make sure they’re always on the right path, but they also hold the whole family structure together. Never underestimate the influence that a mother truly has over a child. It may not always appear this way, but children look to their mother for guidance on how they should deal with situations.
In the spoken word DearMum, the author expresses his unconditional love for his mother acknowledges that he wasn’t perfect because she put him through a lot but yet she still continues to love him endlessly. He used a lot of tools to give the audience a stronger, compelling delivery such as hand gestures, music, edits on the screen, the background he recorded in and even the clothes he was wearing.
“To the woman who was left sleepless from dusk until dawn, with weakness upon weakness for nine months long, telling herself it would all be worth it soon as she rests short for when she finally made it through to the hospital ward”, the author said in his spoken word. He started off by expressing the struggles his mom when through during her nine months of pregnancy. “It was love at first sight when she saw me”, he continued. His mother was in pain for nine months but she dealt with it and he basically explained their relationship as love at first sight. She could never sleep whenever he was gone, she would even stay up all night next to the phone, although he would never call. She wanted to make sure he was safe and secure before she could actually go to sleep. She made a lot of sacrifices and didn’t once ask for a reward because that’s what mothers do. A relationship with your mom is very significant and priceless and is one that should be cherished forever.
It was pretty obvious that the author felt guilty during the poem regarding the way he treated his mother in the past. He repeatedly said he’s sorry for everything even the simple little things such as his dirty rooms. “I’m sorry for leaving you as soon as you taught me how to crawl, I’m sorry for saying “ugh” every time you would ask me to complete a simple chore”, he explained enthusiastically. “Most of all, I’m sorry for the pain that I caused, for the nights you didn’t sleep and for all those missed calls, for the fights we had and for all the broken walls, the dirty room with the messy floors and for the clothes that weren’t packed back into their drawers”, he continued. He expressed the resentment he had towards his way he treated his mom and asked for forgiveness. He regrets the promises he couldn’t fulfill and expresses his guilt towards himself. Towards the end of the poem, the audience found out that his mom passed away. This added a lot of emotion to this poem and gave the audience a better understanding of why he felt this way.
Questions
- Should I add a paragraph about how his tone of voice affected his delivery?
- Are the paragraphs organized?
- Are the sentences well formed and grammatically correct?
- Are there any parts of the poem that I need to analyze better?
- Are my quotes really needed or should I just summarize what he said?
( I don’t have my comclusion yet.)
1) No I think you expressed how the author enough and gave plenty of detail on it.
2) The paragraphs to are organized it flowed together nicely even the gif at the end,
3) I didn’t see any grammar mistakes.
4) I didn’t read the Dear Mum poem so I can’t say anything on that part.
5) I do think quotes are needed especially when analyzing a poem and giving your personal thoughts.
1) yeah you should add a paragraph about how his voice tone affected his delivery
2) yes the paragraphs are organized i liked how it flowed
3) the sentences are welled formed and i didn’t notice any grammar errors.
4) I think it was well analyzed
5) the quotes help understand where exactly your mentioning . A summary could be used also.
1. My favorite part of your project so far is how you expressed the importance for mothers
2. I would love it if you expanded on these two specific ideas a better summary paragraph and connection paragraph
3. It seems like your target audience is those looking for an analyze piece
1. Here are two ideas to help you reach (or define) your audience even more effectively
Analyze more and add more details
4.Two things that you haven’t done yet that I really think would make your project more powerful are expanding your own thoughts on the poem , summarizing and concluding the essay
5.My overall thoughts are this was well written
Moe,
You have a lot of great insights in here! I absolutely love that you picked up explicitly on the fact that he didn’t reveal that his mother had died until the end of the poem: it might be very effectively for you to offer an analysis of why he made that rhetorical choice, and what specific kinds of impacts he might have wanted it to have on his audience (and, speaking of, who do you think his audience is?). What claims is he making about his mother generally, and what claims is he making about motherhood more broadly? It’s interesting because you introduce your essay by talking about motherhood generally, whereas his is arguably about his individual mother rather than anyone’s mother. Yet, the way he expresses himself invites people to identify with him and his mother… how might we deal with that tension when thinking about the meaning of the poem/how we write/speak about it?
I’m so excited to see where you go with this!!!