Ms. Marvel Final Essay

Farzana Khan

ENG 102

Professor Jay Polish

May 31, 2018

Narrative Essay 3

Things started to change for me during middle school. That was when I realized the difference in the society. Where some people got along with the society and does things like everyone and others get stick with their principals and act different from them.  As a Muslim girl, I stick with my religious principals and experienced certain expectation on what we should eat and stuff like that. It was kind of hard for me to follow these rules at a beginning, where I started to wear a scarf in the middle school for the first time. Everyone was staring at me and gave me a look on the hallway that made me embarrassed.  They also, asked me, if I was forced to wear it or I’m just wearing because I like it. All these question and looks made me come to a point not to wear it again. The way people judge us based on our actions or appearance, it makes us to change and do things like other in the society. But, later onwards I got to know the difference in the society and we can’t do anything about it and made me turned into a one that get stick with their principals and act differently.

I had been wondering if I was the only one who experienced this stuff in school or even other had been asked this question. The answer to this question was answered through my first comic book. I never read comic books before, but once I had borrowed it from my sister just to see the pictures. When I first read Ms. Marvel, I understood how pictures also tell us a story and I not only found an answer to my question but also got related to Kamala Khan. The message was conveyed in a form of an answer to my question and made me realize that I wasn’t the only one who had experienced it but also characters like Nakia. This made me to think, it would have been the reason why Kamala wants to be like others just like Zoe. Nobody likes to be judged by their cultural habits and would make them embarrass if they have gone beyond. To show one’s self power to act differently in the society comes despite of experiencing misbehavior’s and disobeying parents in regards to cultural aspects.  In consequence, the society will change ones behavior by others action.

I can see how kamala and I are related to each other, basically with the same religion, went through almost the same difficulties and have almost related behavioral parents. Wearing a scarf wasn’t the only situation that made me make up my mind to act differently but, also other situation like, eating foods.  Kamala and I deals with our religious expectation, where we are not supposed to eat BLT. Our desire to eat specific food is altered by our emotions of feeling toward the religious principle on what must be eaten and what one wants to eat.

This connects with me, where I went through the same situation and couldn’t eat some of the foods like Kamala does. When I was in the lunch room with my Muslim friends at the middle school, my stomach was trembling and there wasn’t anything at the lunch room that I could eat except an apple.  I couldn’t control my hunger so I ended up eating the burger which I know that I’m not supposed to eat it.  That was when I realized that I crossed my religion’s expectation but at the same time my other Muslim friends were eating it. That time I was struggling through if I really should follow these rules or just eat whatever I want as others in the society does. It wasn’t until I got caught by my parents and learned from them and from my friends. I got caught by my parents because of my friend. A friend who truly cares for us will find a way to help us through it.  Not only by making sure we are not hurt but, also by examine us. A friend who has that type of behavior will make us frustrated, but, they are the one who wants us to be who we are. When Bruno told on Kamala, her reaction to it was impossible.  Her eyebrows were shrunk down and the anger in her face shows her frustration towards her friend’s behavior. But, he likes her the way she was.

None of the parents would allow their children to mislead their religious principles. As Kamala’s parents are strict regarding to religious principles like, going to the party and wearing a certain type of clothes.  My parents are also very strict when it comes for eating food.  I was surrounded by my parents for eating a burger and they judged me and asked questions which my answer won’t be able to convince them or show them how I felt. When my parents started to judge me I learned how much they cared for me and none of the parents would judge their children unless they want them to go into a right direction.  Parents would never accept their children to disobey them or their cultural aspects and let them go through whatever direction they wanted to go even if they know it’s not a right way.

That day, I realized it was all because of food and made me to think why food should have names. This situation in my life was supported by the illustration in the comic book, all sandwich had a name tag except for one which had a question mark. This scene really surprised me because I felt like the author had read my mind. If there isn’t any name for foods everyone can eat anything they want and they won’t know if it’s a BLT or something. I wonder why Kamala didn’t eat the sandwich that had the question mark and act like she doesn’t know what she ate.  I think the author had kept it for purpose so; readers can fill it with whatever name they want.

Reflection

Throughout this project, I learned about comic book which is a new genre for me. I never read comic books before, and in this project I learned how to read a comic because it has each panels and it must be read in certain direction. I can use this for my life experience by; try out other comic books because after I read this comic book it made me read more of this genre. I chose this type of assignment format because this assignment was kind a different from all the assignments’. We never get any chances for comparing our own story with other’s story so, I just made use of this. This format really helped me to analysis the comic because when we compare    our own story with other’s story we can understand their situation and helps to analysis it. I could have analysis even further by focusing on the comic book more than my own story.  I used rhetorical choices such as, metaphor to compare my story with the comic book and this advanced my analysis by getting connected to their situation.  For this assignment, the peer review really didn’t push my analysis forward because, since I’ m a visual learn I need to see others draft in order for me to learn more about the assignment. Everyone were doing different format so, I couldn’t analysis forward. I would like to bring in a personification rhetorical choices so I can play with by comparing two different non things.

 

 

Essay 3 Draft

The comic book MS. Marvel is about a Pakistani Muslim girl name Kamala Khan who gets the power of Ms. Marvel. She struggles to figure out how to control and use the power but more over she struggles with the identity and expectation of her religion and her parents.  As a Muslim girl I know how she felt because our religion has certain expectation on what we should eat. We can see Kamala in the first page dealing with her religious expectation where she is not supposed to eat BLT. As I noticed on the first page, she has been staring the BLT sandwich as she had never seen it before where she says, “I just want to smell it.” When she stares at it, her eyes are wide open and thinking about how will it taste and smell. The word smell in the comic book is in bold which express her emotions of feeling toward her religious principal on what must be eaten and what she wants to eat. This scene takes me to my past where I went through the same situation where I couldn’t eat some of the foods like she does. When I was in the lunch room with my Muslim friends at the middle school, my stomach was trembling and there wasn’t anything at the lunch room that I could eat expect an apple.  I knew that an apple couldn’t control my hunger so I ate a burger which I don’t know what was inside it and it smelled very good. I couldn’t control my hunger so I ended up eating the burger which I know that I’m not suppose to eat it.  That was when I realized that I crossed my religion’s expectation but that same time my other Muslim friends were eating it. That time I was struggling through if I really should follow these rules or just eat whatever I want as others in the society does.  At the end I got caught by my parents, who are very strict in these kind of stuffs and it was probably because of my friend, which connects with Kamala’s situation when her friend Bruno told her parents that she attended the party at late night. At the scene when her mother told her it was Bruno who told them, Kamala’s reaction to it was impossible.  Her eyebrows were shrunk down and the anger in her face shows her frustration towards her friend’s behavior. This scene takes me to certain part of my life, where I was surrounded my parents and they were judging on me and asking questions which my answer wouldn’t be able to convince them or show them how I felt.

 

Three things that I want to ask:

1) am I on the right track and is this the way we have to do this assignment?

2) Did I analysis MS. Marvel the way we should analysis it?

3) do I need to include anything else?

Three things I like about my fan fic?

1) I like the way how I connected my past with the comic book.

2) Connection between me and the comic book flows together properly.

Three things I’m unsure of?

1) If I am on the right track?

Research paper

Farzana Khan

Professor Jay Polish

ENG 102

May 7, 2018

How war causes memory loss to adolescent?

War is a clash between two nation and state.  War can be both harmful and helpful for people within that country. Some people find it helpful on how it shape them like being leaders or being helpful within their community. But at the same time war can cause more harmful affect for people’s health and to their community like destroying their house, famine, placing peoples in different countries, killing people and causing psychological problems for people. We can find all these incident happening in the play “Anonymous.” Anonymous is a play written by Naomi Iizuka, and in that play we can find a boy named Anon who gets separated from his mother because of the endless war in their country. He witnessed all the destructions happened by the war. Anon and his mother Nemasani tries to escape to a different place because of the war and a storm hits their boat and Anon ends up drowning in the ocean. Anon loses his memory and his mother ends up working in a factory.  Finally, Anon gains back his memory and goes to different places in search of his mother. This shows that one of the ways that war affect adolescent is through psychological problem such as memory loss.  Memory loss can be caused by witnessing the destruction of war, by depression and by the air pollution caused by the rise of industrialization. We can find all these factors affecting Anon’s memory loss in the play “Anonymous” by Naomi Iizuka. In this play, Anon faces all kind of conflict from starting with the war in their country to on finding his mother.

Memory loss can be temporary or permanent. Word like who are you?, I don’t remember you, are some of the words mentioned by the memory loss people. Anon experience a temporary memory loss where he gains it back later, and mentions some of these words during his memory loss period like, “I don’t remember”, “I don’t know how to begin. I don’t know where to begin” (Iizuka, p.4). After Anon got separated from his mother, his goddess friend Naja was helping him to remember his past. In that way he said these words to Naja to remind her that he doesn’t remember what happened to him. So, Naja told him to begin in the middle or somewhere in the border so, it can help him to gain some of his memory back. This proves that Anon has memory loss and all this happened after he and his mom tried to escape from their country where there was a war and when he drowned in the ocean. One way that war causes memory loss to adolescent is by witnessing the destruction of war. For example, from the article, “the invisible Trauma of War affected Children” the author states that, “children living in violent, terrorized environments experience such horrors as destruction of their homes, and the death of parents, siblings, neighbors and friends.” And even according to the article from live science, the author states that, “People who have been victims of or witnessed a traumatic event such as a violent crime or accident can also have their short-term memories affected”(Zimmermann).When comparing this to the play, the main character Anon has experienced the same situation. For example, in the play, the playwright states that, “where I come from there was a war that lasted so long. Where I come from bombs rained down from the sky night after night. The air smells like death” (Iizuka, p. 4). Anon is from a place where war lasted longer and adolescent like Anon were scared that they couldn’t even sleep at night that bomb will fall on them. Their places were full of death people laying down and they were inhaling that smell.  Anon witnessed these entire incidents and made him affected and his mom and him tried to escape from their country. According to the article, “the invisible Trauma of War affected Children”, it stats that, Witnessing these destruction makes hard for children to recover from traumas. This shows that all these things impact an adolescent’s mind by keeping them in memory and hard to forget those entire things they went through in their life. These incidents will be running through their mind and that shock will affect people by memory loss.

Another way that Anon experienced memory loss through war is by depression. An incident that really affected Anon’s mind is separation from his mother. In the play, “the last time I was in the ocean, I almost drowned. I was with my mom. We were in an old fishing boat. We were trying to escape and there was a storm” ( Iizuka p. 13). The war in their hometown made them migrate to a different place and that journey separated Anon from his mother.  This is an example of fear of death, where they escape from the war to reach a safer place which lead to depression by leaving their hometown and migrating to other country. According to the article from WebMD, “Memory Loss”, the author states that, “Being depressed can make it difficult to pay attention and focus, which can affect memory.” When relating depression to memory loss, the main character Anon also went through depression where he was looking for his mom. For instance, in the play, all he remembered was his mom. “I’m really homesick. What if you want to go home, but there’s no more home to go home to? What if the one person you love more than anything, what if they don’t remember you? What if they don’t even know who you are?” (Iizuka p.14).when he was trying to gain back his memory he remembered only his mother and he got scared that she would have forgotten him or she would have also loss her memory because of that incident they went through. This proves that, he’s scared that his mother would have forgotten him or he would never find his mother. He was thinking too much of this and where his mother would be and this made him depressed.  All these questions were running through his mind and people like Calista were trying to discourage his aim on finding his mom and making him even depressed. To illustrate, the playwright states that, “but it’s not even like she’s even part of your life anymore. I mean she’s probably dead, and even if she’s alive, it’s not like she’s been trying that hard to find you” (Iizuka p. 10). Calista’s words made him angry and depressed after she spoke about his mother. This proves that Depression can be one of the reasons for his memory loss.

Finally, war causes memory loss to adolescent by, air pollution caused by rise of industrial America. After war took place, countries developed their place by building factories, roads, and more transportation and so on. According to the article, “Industrial America” the author states that, “industrial growth transformed American society. It produced a new class of wealthy industrialists and a prosperous middle class.” In this play we can see Calista being in the class of wealthy where she demands Anon to listen to her. Such as, “you should be nice to me. I saved your life. You washed up on the shore of my dad’s luxury beachfront condo and you weren’t even breathing” (Iizuka p. 9). When Anon drowned in the ocean he landed in a different place and Calista saved his life. Since Calista was wealthy she started to ask him to do things that he didn’t like to do. Even when Anon was migrating to different places in search of his mother he found new things that he never seen before for example, the train. The playwright states that, “Pascal: the train’s right on time. Anon: train? What train?” (Iizuka p. 28). Anon met this boy who is from different country and they were trying to go to another place. That was when Anon first saw a Train. He even didn’t know that industrial were raising and everything changed. As there was a rise of industrial in America, factories were built. In the play there was a sewing factory, where Nemasani was working. According to the scholarly article, “the polluted brain” the author states that, “Some of the health risks of inhaling fine and ultrafine pollutant particles are well-established, such as asthma, lung cancer, and, most recently, heart disease. But a growing body of evidence suggests that such exposure can also harm the brain, accelerating cognitive aging, and may even increase risk of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia”(Underwood).  We get these fine particles from the machine from factories and it gets mixed with the air and causes air pollution. People in those places inhale these particles from the air pollution and that leads to major health risks such as memory loss. This could be one the reason for Anon’s memory loss because he’s new to these changes and he’s new to those places so, he doesn’t know how to adapt to different places and there are chances that he could have inhaled these particles. This proves that air pollution caused by factories after war took places can causes memory loss to adolescent.

To conclude, this proves that war affect adolescent through psychological problem such as memory loss.  Memory loss can be caused by witnessing the destruction of war, by depression and by the air pollution caused by the rise of industrialization. The play also connects with these affects to prove that Anon went through memory loss because of the war he experienced.  Adolescent like Anon gets shocked by witnessing people dying, bombs falling down during war. People fled through different country and that journey separates loved ones and lead to depression. Even after war, like rise of industrialization affects adolescent mind through the air pollution that factory emits. All these issues affect adolescent by disturbing their brain through shocks and emotions feelings which leads to memory loss in adolescent.

Work citied

Iizuka, Naomi. Anon(Ymous): a Drama. Playscripts, 2010.

“Industrial America – American Memory Timeline- Classroom                              Presentation | Teacher Resources.” Library of Congress,             www.loc.gov/teachers/classroommaterials/presentationsandactivities/presentations/timeline/riseind/

“Memory Loss.” WebMD,www.webmd.com/brain/memory-loss#1.

“The Invisible Trauma of War-Affected Children.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma/201304/the-invisible-trauma-war-affected-children.

Underwood, Emily. “The Polluted Brain.” Science, vol. 355, no. 6323, 27 Jan. 2017, pp. 342-345. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1126/science.355.6323.342.

Zimmermann, Kim Ann. “What Is Short-Term Memory Loss?” LiveScience, Purch, 24 Apr. 2017, www.livescience.com/42891-short-term-memory-loss.html.

 

Reflection

In this research paper I learned how to find and use academic journal and how to combine them along with our research paper. I can use this for my other classes or for upcoming essay to support my evidence. This research paper helped me to analysis the play by getting deeper into the play and by solving all the questions I had in the beginning while reading the play for the first time. I could have pushed my analysis even further by using some of other academic journal and combine them to get better understanding. I don’t think I used any rhetorical choices in my research paper. By peer reviewing, it helped me to develop my essay and to analysis it even better. Next time, I would like to focus on how to develop my essay even better. For my next assignment I would like to use Epithet rhetorical choices.

Research Draft

Research: how war causes memory loss to adolescent?

 

War can cause many problems to survivors such as psychological problems after witnessing the destruction of war. According to the article, “Researchers have found that war has a remarkable and miraculous effect” it has stated that, “more than half the population had fled their homes, and some 70,000 people had died.” When comparing this to the play “Anonymous” by Naomi Iizuka, the main character Anon has experienced the same situation. For example, in the play, the author states that, “where I come from there was a war that lasted so long. Where I come from bombs rained down from the sky night after night. The air smells like death” (Naomi Iizuka, p. 4).   Anon witnessed these entire incidents and made him affected and his mom and him tried to escape from their country. This shows that all these things impact an adolescent’s mind by keeping them in memory and hard to forget those entire things they went through in their life.  This entire incident affected him and led to memory loss. One of the psychological problems after witnessing the destruction of war is memory loss.  Word like who are you?, I don’t remember you, are some of the words mentioned by the memory loss people. Even Anon has mentioned some of these words like, “I don’t remember”, “I don’t know how to begin. I don’t know where to begin” (Naomi Iizuka, p.4). Another incident that really affected his mind is separation from his mother. For example, in the play, “the last time I was in the ocean, I almost drowned. I was with my mom. We were in an old fishing boat. We were trying to escape and there was a storm” (Naomi Iizuka p. 13). This is an example of fear of death, where they escape from the war to reach a safer place. According to the article from WebMD, “Memory Loss”, the author states that, “Being depressed can make it difficult to pay attention and focus, which can affect memory.” When relating depression to memory loss, the main character Anon also went through depression where he was looking for his mom. For example, in the play, all he remembered was his mom. “I’m really homesick. What if you want to go home, but there’s no more home to go home to? What if the one person you love more than anything, what if they don’t remember you? What if they don’t even know who you are?” (Naomi Iizuka p.14). This proves that, he’s scared that his mother would have forgotten him or he would never find his mother. All these questions were running through his mind and people like Calista were trying to discourage his aim on finding his mom.

 

Work cited

Guo, Jeff. “Researchers Have Found That War Has a Remarkable and Miraculous Effect.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 28 June 2016, www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/06/28/researchers-have-found-that-war-has-a-remarkable-and-miraculous-effect/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.67b98b06ce38.

Iizuka, Naomi. Anon(Ymous): a Drama. Playscripts, 2010.

“Memory Loss.” WebMD, WebMD, www.webmd.com/brain/memory-loss#1.

Questions:

  1. Is my essay well organized?
  2. Do I have to be more specific and clear in analyzing the play?
  3. Is there anything that I need to focus on or include?

 

 

Anon(ymous)

Three questions about the play

  • where does Naja comes from and how does she know that Anon is with Calista?
  • why Anon is telling everyone a different name?
  • where did Pascal came from and what he was doing in the water?

Two body gestures

When  Nemasani began to remove the stitches of the shroud to avoid marrying Mr. Mackus i began to smile.

Another body gestures that inspired me was, when Helen Laius was listening to Nemasani’s story and when she gave her advise on how to overcome her sorrow. Even though Helen was senator’s wife, she was helping Nemasani and told her meditation and yoga are very helpful, i was nodding my head for this part.

Two sounds

I like the way how the play has an transition words for each scene . For example in page 15, ” the ocean transforms into the sewing factory” this shows that the scene is moving from ocean to a sewing factory scene.

Another sound that inspired me was, in page 5 i like the way how he combines the sound of war to the sewing factory.

FanFiction

Farzana Khan

ENG 102

April, 09, 18

In the world afore, during 1880, a 10 year old girl named X got separated from her mother and worked as a slave in a palace. Her boss family is the richest family in that country and they owned schools, hospitals and so on. They have many slaves working for them. Her boss had a son named Y, who is 2 years older than X. Y was studying in boarding school and doesn’t come home often during holidays. Y is someone who doesn’t fall in love easily and hard to understand his character. He doesn’t like his dad but at the same time he respects him and follows his command. Y always gets into trouble and gets kicked out of school because he likes to be dominated in the school. Since Y got kicked out from his previous school, his dad made him go to their own school but still, Y lived in his friend’s house. Since Y is studying in his dad school, he likes to be much dominated and still gets into fight.

when X came to the palace for the first time her boss told her, “X! you can stay in this palace and get to sleep here” there wasn’t no happiness in her face because she was full of depressed and missed her mother. She got her own tiny room where she has to share with other slave members and she doesn’t get along with other slave members. One day on her way to the garden she found a small room full of used textbooks and newspapers and said to herself, “what are these use for? from that day onward she went to that room secretly every day to explore about these books and from there she got a knowledge about the world.

Every day she sits alone near the window and watches everyone playing outside or going out with their parents. “why couldn’t I be free and be like everyone with my parents?” says X. At one point she got really depressed and had a dream about her mother every night and woke up crying. At the age of 16, she tried to commit suicide. Knowing this her owner decided to send her to his own school as a half time student. So, she can get relief from her depression and concentrate on her work. So, he asked, “do you want to go to school as a half time student?” she was surprised after hearing this from her owner. She replied, “yes, I would love to but …” “But what?” Said the owner. “Is it possible for me to attend school?” said the girl. By reading the used history textbook, she knew that African American are not allowed to get educations. Her boss replied, “don’t worry it’s my school so, you would be able to attend school.”  The night before school, she couldn’t sleep and she had butterflies feelings on her stomach. All she was thinking about was, if she will get friends and if everyone will be nice to her.

But on the first day of school, she got bullied and it made her depressed even more and she didn’t have anyone to share her feelings with after going home. She got bullied every single day. On the second week of the school, the same thing happened again. She plead everyone to leave her alone. A dominate voice came from behind the crowd, “everyone leave her alone” said Y. That was the first time X met Y but, Y knew her from first day of school. Y had been noticing her and there was something that had been attracting him from her. Y helped her out from bullying and made her feel like she is also like one of them. She doesn’t know that Y is her owner’s son and he doesn’t know X works in his house. They both met every day in school and even outside the classroom. At one point they realized that they were in love and Y planned to propose X. So, he asked for her address and that’s how he came to know that X lives in his house as a slave. After knowing this he started to like her even more because she’s a girl with a lot of pain within her and never shows it out.

His parents came to know about this and warned him to forget her but he didn’t listen to them. Finally, his parents threaten him and said,” if you don’t forget her, then I would kill her” so, he didn’t know what to do so he started to avoid her. They both met each other after a week. X asked him “why aren’t you talking to me? Are you avoiding me?”  so he said, “you ain’t got no talent if you didn’t have a face you wouldn’t be nobody.” And she said, “god created heaven and earth and all that’s Black within them.” So he said, “you ain’t really no hot shit they tell me plenty sisters take care better business than you” this made her heart broken and felt alone again. When they went apart, tears rolled from Y’s eyes and said to himself, “I hope one day you will get to know that I did all these things to save your life from my parents.” Y went back to his house and told his parents, “I have done what you had told me to do. But, I want you to do me a favor.” His parents asked, “What is it” so, Y replied, “I want you to leave X alone and let her stay with her mother.” His parents said yes to it so, he won’t meet X again. His parents also planned secretly, to send X and her mother somewhere far away to a different place by their choice so, Y won’t find them.

As days went by, Y felt so bad for hurting X and wanted to tell her the truth. So, he decided to tell her the truth on the day when she meets her mother. Finally, the day had come where X will meet her mother after a long time. On that day morning, Y went to meet X with his parent’s permission and X wasn’t happy to see him back. Y went and spoke to her, “hi! X how you doing? I know that you really hate me but I wanted to tell you something” so X told  him, “ I don’t want to hear anything from you and I had heard a lot from you that’s enough” and Y replied “ I know that I have hurt you but, it wasn’t my fault. I did all those things to save your life from my parents” and he told her the truth behind their breakup and they both decided to move on. Y also told her that, “today I have a surprise for” and he made her meet her mother. After seeing her mother X ran and hugged her mother and was happy to see her back. But, it was the last day X and Y met each other. X and her mother went to a different place and days passed by, but Y couldn’t forget all his memories with X so he decided to join on the army and he never came back.

 

Reflection

while writing this fanfiction i learned the concept of the poem and how poem can have their own stories. i can use this in the future to analysis a story and its main idea.  yes, it did helped me to analysis it by giving the poem its own story and a life to its characters.  i could have pushed my writing even further by making it more creative. In my fan fic i have used rhetorical choices that is similar to allusions. this choice have advanced the depth of my work by  using  past history and my imaginary  in my story and it has played an main role in it. the process of peer review had helped me to analysis it further by adding more details to the characters. next time  for my peer review i would like to focus on the creativity. for my future assignments i would like to use rhetorical choice such as irony, allusion.

Fanfiction

In the world afore, during 1880, a girl named X who is “she” in the poem got separated from her mother and worked as a slave in a palace. Her boss is the richest family in that country and they owned schools,hospitals and so on. They had many slaves working for them. When her boss told her,”X! you can stay in this palace and get to sleep here” there wasn’t no happiness in her face because she was full of depressed and missed her mother. she got her own tiny room where she has to share with other slave members and she doesn’t get along with other slave members.

One day on her way to the garden she found a small room full of used textbooks and newspaper and said to herself,”what are these use for?” from that day onward she went to that room secretly every day to explore about those books and from there she got a knowledge about the world. Every day she sits alone near the window and watches everyone playing outside or going out with their parents. “Why couldn’t i be free and be like everyone with my parents?”, says X(She).

At one point, she got really depressed and had a dream about her mother every night  and woke up crying. At the age of 15 she tried to commit suicide. Knowing this her owner decided to send her to his own school as a half time student. So, she can get relief from her depression and she won’t think about committing suicide again. Her owner came up with this decision so he won’t get in trouble if she commit suicide. So, he asked, “do you want to go to school as a half time student?” She was surprised after hearing this from her owner. She replied, “yes, i would love to but..” “but what?” said the owner. “is it possible for me to attend school?” said the girl. By reading the used textbooks, she knew that African American are not allowed to get educations. Her boss replied, “don’t worry it’s my school so you would be able to attend school.”

On the first day of school, she got bullied and it made her depressed even more and she didn’t have anyone to share her feelings with after going home. On the second day, when she went to school the same thing happened again. She plead everyone to leave her alone. A dominate voice came from behind the crowd, “everyone leave her alone” said Y (“he”). That was the first time X met Y. Y helped her out from bullying and made her feel like she is also like one of them. she doesn’t know that Y is her owner’s son and he doesn’t know X works in his house.

They both met every day in school and even outside the classroom. At one point they realized that they both were in love and he planned of proposing X. So, he asked for her address and that’s how he came to know that X lives in his house as a slave. After knowing this he started to like her even more. His parents came to know about this and warned him to forget her but he didn’t listen to them. Finally, his parents threaten him and said, “if you don’t forget her, then i will kill her” so, he didn’t know what to do so he started to avoid her. They both met each other after a week. X asked him ” why aren’t you talking to me? are you avoiding me?” so he said, “you ain’t got no talent if you didn’t have a face you wouldn’t be nobody” and she said, “god created heaven and earth and all that’s Black within them” so he said, “you ain’t really no hot shit they tell me plenty sisters take care better business than you” this made her heart broken and felt alone again. When they went apart, tears rolled from Y’s eyes and said to himself, ” i hope one day you will get to know that i did all these things to save your life from my parents.”

I want to know if my story is well developed and has consequence? or do i have add more details?

what’s my favorite in my fan fiction is, i like the way how i made connection with history.

i’m not sure if my story is well developed.